


Take Your Time - Book 1

by m_slocum19



Series: Take Your Time [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 01:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15159689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_slocum19/pseuds/m_slocum19
Summary: “I’m you, Liv,” Rafael Barba says, staring deeply at Olivia Benson.“And?” Olivia is standing closer to Rafael than she ever has. Their hands are brushing up against each other.The two decide to see where the world takes them. Together.-posted on other sites as well-





	1. Ch. 1

“I’m you, Liv,” Rafael Barba says, staring deeply at Olivia Benson.

“And?” Liv is standing closer to Rafael than she ever has. Their hands are brushing up against each other.

“I don’t want to let that go, I don’t want to let you go,” he answers. “I need you in my life, Liv.”

“Then don’t go,” she pleads. “Stay with me and we can figure this all out together.”

“I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to go with my life,” Rafael is flustered at this point, thinking about his future. “What am I going to do?”

“We’ll figure it out, Rafa, I promise.” Olivia grabs his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll figure this out, you’re the smartest man I have ever known.”

With that, the two walk away arm in arm. Rafael feels a comfort in Olivia’s presence, he sighs quietly but Olivia still notices and smiles at him to let him know it really will be okay. She knows it will be. She believes in Rafael more than anyone, he’s an incredible man who is capable of growing and thriving. He just needs someone to show him he has value, that he’s worthy. On the other side of this, Rafael’s mind is reeling. _What will I do now?_ He thinks to himself, _Who am I outside of a courtroom? What am I?_ He shakes his head as if it would get rid of the thought entirely. All he focuses is on is the moment he’s in, with Olivia.

* * *

 

The next day, Rafael shows up to Olivia’s early in the morning. “Time to get to work on this resume, I guess,” he trudges in, removing his shoes and jacket. “How do I put ‘was acquitted of killing a baby that was already legally dead’ to explain why I left my very good position as ADA?”

Olivia shoots him a glare from the kitchen, “Rafa, you can’t be so hard on yourself. That was a hard case for you. It hit way too close to home.” She walks over to him and puts her hand on his bicep to comfort him. “You did the right thing, Rafa.”

Rafael looks up at her and their eyes lock. “I just don’t know what I am going to do, Liv.” Tears are in his eyes and his lower lip is quivering. Olivia pulls him into a tight hug and lets him cry it out on her shoulder. She soothes him with a continuous mantra, “It’s going to be okay, Rafa. You’re going to be okay.” Rafael settles down after a few minutes. Olivia takes his face in her hands and wipes the tears from his cheeks. His face has become scruffy in the days after the long trial. She traces the line of facial hair on his cheeks up to his ears. “Rafa, you are going to be amazing.” He nuzzles his cheek into her hand and smiles, breathing in deeply.

The two set up shop at the dining table while Noah plays in his room. Rafael stares at a blank word document on his laptop while Olivia searches for possible options for Rafael. “What about a Prisoners’ Rights Advocate?” she suggest scrolling through an article.

“I’m don’t know,” Rafael looks up and adds “I’m sure 85% of the prisoners hate me in New York.” Olivia lets out a chuckle and continues on searching. Rafael starts with a basic resume template, adding his overview and experience. He gets to references and pauses. _No one is going to let me use them as a reference,_ he thinks to himself, furrowing his eyebrows at his laptop screen. _I killed- No, I did what was right and I got acquitted. I did what was right. But still, I can’t get a job without references._ He decides to come back to that, but can’t shake the feeling of guilt he’s been carrying since that night.

“What’s wrong?’ Olivia’s voice shakes him free from his thoughts. Rafael sighs and looks up over his glasses at Olivia.

“It’s nothing, just references. You know I can’t use anyone from the DA’s Office.” He sits back and stretches his arms up over his head.

“Use me,” Olivia says quickly.

“You? Can I do that? You’re my best friend, is that appropriate?” Rafael is warmed by her quick response. She didn’t even have to think about it. She never has to think about anything when it comes to helping him.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not,” she leans over onto the table a bit. “I promise to only say good things about you.”

“Oh? Like what?” Rafael teases her, looking for validation.

“Oh you know. How dedicated you are, how you’re able to adapt to any challenge. You’re headstrong but not stubborn. You really listen to people when they talk to you. And you’re honest. Punctual.” Olivia drones on, listing Rafael’s good traits.

“Well, I already knew all those things,” Rafael smirks and winks at his friend across the table. Olivia rolls her eyes and gets back to researching job possibilities. Rafael returns to his resume, compiling as much information about him that is relevant to the jobs he is applying for.

* * *

 

“I think I found it,” Olivia says an hour later. “This is something you’d be amazing at, and I think you’ll like it too!”

“What is it?” Rafael looks up and cocks his head to the side at her.

“A Violence Prevention Lobbyist,” she reads from the screen. “You’ll be lobbying for bills and causes that help fight sexual violence in New York. Rafa, this is it.”

“It sounds incredible. But Liv, they’ll--”

“Look into your past, I know. But you did the right thing. These people are compassionate, they’ll understand that. Plus you were acquitted!” Olivia interjects, knowing just what Rafael will say. Noah comes out of his room after a nap and shuffles into the room. “Hey sweet boy, how’d you sleep?”

“Great! It’s just never long enough,” Noah whines as he grabs his water bottle off of the counter.

“He must’ve gotten that laziness from you, Rafa,” Olivia darts her eyes over to him. Rafael’s mouth hangs open in shock.

“Oh no he didn't! I’ve never stayed over, he hasn’t seen the lengths I will go to sleep in!” Rafael exclaims in defense. Noah giggles from his mother’s lap. Rafael can’t help but smile at the boy, his laughter is contagious.

“What’re you guys doing anyway?” Noah asks.

“Rafa’s looking for a job, sweet boy,” Olivia responds to the question. “I think I found a good one!”

“I’ll apply, but I’m not getting my hopes up,” Rafael responds. “Now, what shall we do for dinner?”


	2. Ch. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael gets an interview at an organization that Noah helps him prepare for. A perp escapes on bail, leading Rafael to stay over at Olivia's to help ease her anxiety.

Rafael’s on the phone with Olivia as he makes lunch for Noah and himself. “It’s not like I am doing anything else, Liv. Let me spend time with mi niño,” he jokingly pleads.

“Of course you can, Rafa. Thank you so much,” Olivia is relieved to not have to worry about Noah during this work emergency. “I can’t believe this scumbag got out on bail and now they can’t find him.” The say goodbye and hang up. Rafael takes two plates to the table for lunch, “Here you are, Noh. Your favorite.”

Suddenly, his phone rings again. Rafael answers the phone call after he hastily swallows his food. “Hello?” He likes that he doesn’t have to answer his phone saying “Barba” anymore. It’s freeing.

“Hi this is Nicole with VPC, I mean Violence Prevention Center. I am looking to speak with a Mr. Rafael Barba?” her voice is questioning, hoping she has the right number.

“This is he,” Rafael is short in his responses, nervous about the call. “What can I do for you?”

“We received your resume and it stood out tremendously from the rest,” Nicole explains. “We’d like you to come for an interview. Is tomorrow at 10:30am okay?”

“Y-yes, absolutely. I’d be honored,” Rafael responds back very excitedly. Noah perks up at his change in attitude. “10:30am? Great, yes thank you. See you then, bye.” Rafael is beaming at the little boy across from him.

“What it is Rafa?” the little boy’s head is tilted and his curls are spilling over his face.

“I got an interview at that job your mama suggested,” Rafael is still smiling at Noah, he doesn’t see it ending anytime soon. Everything was falling into place. “It’s tomorrow morning! I have to prepare!” Suddenly Rafael jumps up and races to grab his laptop from the coffee table. He flips it open and starts a new word document.

“What are you doing Rafa?” Noah plops down next to him and leans onto his arm. “You’re typing so fast!”

“Answer tree, niño. You have to be prepared for any possible outcomes. I learned that when I worked with your mom,” he sighs a bit at the end. He is nostalgic for the days where he and Olivia worked together and helped save people.

“Cool! Can I help?”

* * *

 

Olivia arrives home from work around 5:30pm. Rafael is in the kitchen cooking dinner for the three of them. “Smells amazing,” Oliva praises from the doorway. “What’re you making?”

“Just some spaghetti, nothing special,” Rafael says paying very close attention to the sauce he is stirring. He takes cooking very seriously. He loves it. It’s one of the only things that calms him down. Cooking and Liv. He closes his eyes for a brief moment and takes in this loving home he’s been welcomed into. This is home. Shocked at the realization, Rafael shakes his head and resumes stirring. Noah and Olivia set the table while Rafael finishes up the dish. “Food’s ready!”

The trio sits down in their respective spots at the table- Olivia and Noah across from each other and Rafael at the end of the table, between them. He smiles uncontrollably at the comfort he feels just sitting there with his best friend and her son. Olivia pours everyone a glass of water while Rafael opens the wine for the adults to drink. They dig into the meal and Noah finally blurts out the news from earlier that day.

“Rafa got an interview, mama!” He exclaims as if he was a balloon too full of air.

“Niño! I was going to tell her when we were done eating!” Rafael shoots back at the boy who is still giggling from excitement. “I guess I will have to forgive you though, you’re so cute.” He chuckles and plays with Noah’s hair.

“Rafa, that’s amazing! Is it with VPC?” She asks, wanting to know more.

“Yes, it’s tomorrow at 10:30am. I am a lot more nervous than I thought I’d be,” he answers looking back down at his plate of food.

“Don’t worry Rafa, we made your answer tree! It’s, uh, it’s… What did you say?” Noah is drawing a blank.

“Impenetrable, niño. Do you remember what it means?” Rafael’s voice is inquisitive.

“You can’t break it? No. You can’t see through it?” The boy answers.

“Close!” Olivia and Rafael say in unison, laughing at themselves.

“You can’t… go through it!” Noah shouts and jumps from his chair.

“Very good, niño!” Rafael shouts standing up and scooping Noah into his arms. He hugs the boy and they both giggle. Olivia takes in this moment, realizing just how much Rafael loves Noah and how much Noah loves him. He’s been by her side through so much, especially with Noah. His pneumonia, measles, the CPS case, and Sheila. Olivia tries not to think about Sheila, but it’s hard when Noah still asks about her. Even after they visit her. Her attention is brought back to reality when she hears Noah’s giggles closer to her. He’s by her side now asking if Rafael can stay to watch a movie.

“Yes, of course. But just one. We all have busy days tomorrow!” She directs, “Now go pick one out, sweet boy.” Olivia and Rafael watch as the boy bounces away to pick out a movie on Netflix.

“You sure did get lucky, Liv,” Rafael whispers.

“I sure did,” Olivia says with a smile on her face. She bumps her shoulder into his and grabs his hand. They share a brief look before Noah runs up to declare his choice. The three cuddle up on the couch together, Noah in the middle, and they watch the show.

When the movie is done, Noah reluctantly brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed. Olivia pours her and Rafael a glass of wine. Rafael heads to Noah’s room to read to him before bed. This has become one of Noah’s favorite parts of his nighttime routine, and with the rate they’ve been going, it’s been a nightly occurrence. When Rafael returns, Olivia is already on the couch, knees under her chin, a glass of wine in one hand and her phone in the other. “Que pasa?” Rafael asks worried about the look she has.

“It’s nothing, just following up with that perp that they can’t find. I’m getting worried,” she admits to Rafael. She can trust him. “What if it happens again, Rafa? What if this is Lewis all over again?” Rafael slides into the spot next to Olivia and puts his hand on her knee.

“I’ll stay here tonight, okay? I’ll sleep on the couch and keep you safe. I promise,” he says without having to think about it. He knows she’d do the same for him. “I will have time to take Noah to school tomorrow and get to my interview in time. That way you can go into work early. I know it’s Lucy’s day off, so I’ll help out.” Olivia smiles at him and squeezes his hand.

“Thank you, Rafa,” she’s relieved to have such a wonderful man in her life. “Your interview is going to go well, I promise you that. I know you’re worried about it.”

“What if they ask about what I did?” Rafael lets his guard down. “They’ll think I’m a murderer like everyone else. They’ll reject me, Liv. I can’t handle that right now.”

“Rafa, you know you did the right thing. I know you did the right thing. They’ll know you did the right thing,” she says putting her arm around his shoulders to comfort him. “You’re going to get this job, I just know it.” Rafael nods his head and sniffs a bit. He rubs the beard that has grown in and relaxes into the back of the couch with Olivia’s arm still around him. He leans into her and takes comfort knowing she will always be there for him.

When the two are done talking about the day and preparing for Rafael’s interview, Olivia gets up to get ready for bed. She takes out an old pair of NYPD sweats that Cassidy left there for Barba to wear. He makes his bed on the couch and turns on the TV to have some background noise to sleep to. Olivia comes out one more time to check on Rafael and say goodnight before finally resigning to bed, making sure to check in on Noah one more time.

* * *

 

Rafael wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night from a nightmare. He is gasping for air and searching the room to see where he is. _I’m okay,_ he thought to himself, _I’m safe. I am home. I’m safe, we’re safe. It was just a dream, Lewis is gone. He’s dead, we’re safe._ Rafael’s been having nightmares about Lewis. He keeps thinking about what Olivia went through, how helpless he was. He heads to the bathroom to splash his face with water. He hears a noise in Noah’s room. Without wiping the water from his face, he rushes into the boy’s room. A shadow peaks through the corner of the window. Rafael watches it closely, turning the hallway light on to ensure the shadow sees he is there. He grabs Noah’s baseball bat and walks slowly to the window. He turns to look at Noah briefly and when he turns back, the shadow is gone. Rafael opens the window, no one is there, not even footsteps in the distance. _What is going on with me?_ Rafael goes into Olivia’s room and touches her arm. Olivia wakes up slightly worried at the person standing in front of her. “Rafa? What’s going on?”

“I had a nightmare, again. It was about Lewis. About what he did to you, how I couldn’t do anything to help you. I felt so trapped,” he’s looking at her with tears in his eyes and he is shaking, “This is stupid, I’m sorry I woke you. You went through it, you lived it and I’m just standing here complaining about feeling trapped?! You were trapped, not me!” He’s furious with himself. Letting himself feel bad about this, feel traumatized by it. Olivia had dealt with so much worse than he had.

“Rafa, calm down. It’s okay, you’re okay. I am okay. You’re valid to feel that way. It’s okay that you feel that way,” Olivia reassured him, sitting up now to get closer to eye level with him. Rafael sinks to his knees and starts to sob.

“I just,” he manages to get out two syllables between sobs, “I couldn’t help you.” His body is shaking. Olivia turns sitting up to hang her legs off the edge. She pulls him into her body and runs her fingers through his hair trying to calm him down. Rafael stays in her arms and cries for what felt like forever to him. “I’m so sorry, Liv. I am so sorry I let that happen to you.”

“It isn’t your fault, Rafa,” Olivia shoots back, “Don’t put that on yourself.”

“I failed to get him convicted, I failed you,” he cries into her again. “I couldn’t protect you then, how will I now? Just now, I thought I heard someone in Noah’s room and I checked. I saw a shadow in the window and there was nothing. It was nothing, I just made it up in my head!”

“Rafael Barba, look at me,” Olivia demands. Rafael’s eyes meet hers and he sighs. “You are strong, you will get through this. All of this. Stay in here with me tonight, you’ll be okay.”

Rafael settles into the left side of the bed, instantly soothed by Olivia’s warmth next to his. He says goodnight and rolls over to face away from Olivia. “Sweet dreams, Liv.”


	3. Ch. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael has his interview and it goes better than expected.

Rafael wakes up the next morning with his arm around Olivia’s waist. He pauses a moment to take in how peaceful she seems sleeping. He smiles at the beauty of the woman next to him. He makes his way to the bathroom and realizes he doesn’t have a toothbrush. “Damn,” he mumbles to himself. “How do I not have one of those here?” He shuffles back to Olivia and feels awful to have to wake her up. “Liv?” He nudges her arm a bit.

“Hmm?” Olivia slowly opens her eyes and smiles at the sight of Rafael in front of her. “What’s up?”

“I, uh, I need a toothbrush, I don’t know where to find them. I also don’t want to rummage through your stuff,” he chuckles at admitting this. Why? She is his closest friend, and he is hers. They have no secrets.

“Bathroom cabinet, second shelf, to your right,” Olivia murmurs as she rolls back over.

“Liv, you need to get up remember? You told me to make sure you get to the precinct by 7 this morning,” Rafael says sternly, still standing by her side. “Liv…”

“Fine, fine. I’m getting up,” Olivia is still not getting up. Rafael pulls the covers from the bed to force her awake. “Rafa! C’mon!”

“Sorry, Liv. I made a promise. You know I always keep a promise,” he smirks and walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Olivia shows up quickly after to do the same. They giggle at each other as they share the bathroom sink and try not to bump heads. Olivia keeps bumping into Rafael’s hips to throw him off balance.

When the two are done, they part ways briefly. Olivia goes to get some breakfast started while Rafael goes to wake Noah up. “Rafa you stayed over! Wait, why?” The boy asks worried.

“I was too sleepy to go home last night, niño, that’s all,” Rafael tells the boy to ease his mind. Noah has been on edge since everything that happened with Sheila. He did not like seeing his mom that way, so scared and sad. The boy smiles at him and walks to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Rafael heads toward the kitchen to help Olivia out. She got the usual out and started. Scrambled eggs with cheese for Noah, asiago bagel and cream cheese for herself, and an over easy egg on toast for Rafael. He smiled at how well she knew him. He started a pot of coffee and poured a glass of apple juice for Noah.

“Thank you, Liv,” he turns to her smiling quickly. “I’m really sorry about last night, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Rafa, you don’t need to apologize,” at this point Oliva’s turned her body to face his as well. “I’m here for you. Through it all. Thick and thin, Rafa. I am here.” She grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They exchange a quiet smile and return to what they were doing. When the food is ready, Noah appears from his room. “Smells great, mama!”

“Thanks, sweet boy. Now eat up, Rafa’s taking you to school today!” Olivia says excitedly.

“That’s right, niño, I am going to have the pleasure of walking with you today,” Rafael says smiling. Noah gives out a squeak of excitement before he digs into his breakfast. Olivia and Rafael look at each other and smile. They eat their breakfast in comfortable silence.

Before Olivia heads out, she grabs Rafael’s hand and assures him, “You’re going to be amazing, Rafa. Don’t forget how incredible you are.” He smiles at her and kisses her hand before she heads out to work. “Have a great day, you two.”

“You too,” the pair responds in unison.

* * *

 

Rafael is back at his apartment for the first time in 24 hours. Dropping Noah off at school went a lot better than expected. He’s been worried about people recognizing him in public for what he did. As he walks into his apartment, anxiety finally hits him. After doing a sweep to make sure he was actually alone, Rafael sinks into his couch to think for a moment before preparing for his interview. “Okay, just two more hours,” he says to himself while standing up. “It’s going to be great. Fine. Just fine. I have the tree, that’s all I need.”

Rafael showers and trims his beard before putting on his best outfit for an interview. A grey suit with a white shirt and navy pants, navy suspenders, and a navy tie. He puts on his leather shoes, straightens his sleeves, and heads out the door. “You got this, Rafa,” he repeats to himself under his breath. He heads to the Violence Prevention Center’s office.

When he arrives at the building, he catches the elevator up to their floor. Upon walking in, he is met with a warm welcome. “Hi, I’m Nicole. What can I help you with today?”

“My name is Rafael Barba,” he straightens his posture when he sees the receptionist.

“Oh, Mr. Barba!” Nicole is bubbly as she jumps out her seat. “We’re so excited you’re here!”

“Rafael is fine,” he says, he hates being called Mr. Barba now. It reminds him of his days in the DA’s Office. “Thank you, the honor is mine, really.” Nicole smiles at him and tells him someone will be out in just a moment.

A blonde woman approaches from a hallway and calls out Rafael’s name. He stands up almost too quickly and follows her to a conference room. She introduces herself as Catherine, but Cat for short. Nicole joins them as well as another team member, Theo. “Welcome, Mr. Barba. We are really excited you decided to meet with us today,” Cat states to break the silence.

“It’s my pleasure. Thank you for this opportunity,” Rafael smiles at everyone. “I’m honored, truly.”

“We’ve seen you’re work with survivors of sexual assault. You’ve done amazing things to advocate for the rights of people dealing with the trauma. It’s incredible,” Nicole says in her bubbly tone. Rafael notices she seems a bit star struck and smiles.

“Thank you, I grew a lot in that job. I loved what we did there,” he’s suddenly nostalgic again for the days where he was always by Olivia’s side. He remembers how cocky and rigid he was when he first got there. How much he had changed since then. He smiled at how far he’d come.

“If I am being honest, Mr. Barba, we want you here. Are you interested in a position?” Cat asks in a serious tone.

“Absolutely. And it’s Rafael, please. Thank you, thank you so much,” Rafael says a little dumbfounded.

“Awesome, I will get the papers drawn up!” Theo jumps up from his seat to get back to his spot in the office.

“Then it’s settled. When can you start?” Cat looks over to Rafael. She’s hard to read. She seems cold, but at the same time she seems like a welcoming person. Rafael doesn’t know just yet, but he is determined to figure it out.

“Well, today is Friday. So is Monday okay?” Rafael asks before leading into another question. “When should I be in?”

Cat stands and Rafael follows suit. She extends her arm out for a handshake, “I’ll see you at 9am, Mr- I mean, Rafael.” With a smile, she walks out of the room. Nicole jumps up and down in excitement. She walks Rafael to the elevator and says goodbye.

On his way back to his apartment, Rafael unlocks his phone to call his most recent contact.

“Hello?”

“Hola, Liv! Que pasa?” Rafael shoots back quickly.

“You sound perky, I take it the interview went well?” Olivia responds with hope in her voice.

“It wasn’t even an interview, Liv! I walked into the room, they complimented me, and then they offered me a job!” He’s almost jumping in between steps. “I can’t believe it. They didn’t even ask about the Householder trial. Not a single comment on it.”

“See? I told you, Rafa. You’re amazing. You deserve this job,” Olivia breathes out a sigh of relief. “I knew you could do it, Rafa.”

Rafael smiles at this and responds, “I couldn’t have done it without you, Liv. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Rafa. I have to go, the trial’s starting back up. I’ll see you later?” She hopes his answer is yes.

“Yes. What do you want for dinner?” Rafael asks, hoping for the answer he is sure she’ll give.

“Surprise me,” she replies before hanging up the phone.


	4. Ch. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two reveal their feelings over a glass of wine. They swap stories from their memories together.

Rafael is already in Olivia’s kitchen. With no sign of Noah, she assumes that Rafael took him over to Amanda’s to have a sleepover with Jesse. Noah loves his little cousin and is very protective of her. “Hola Liv,” Rafael says with his back to her. “We’re having my mother’s chicken enchiladas for dinner! They are the best, trust me. I just hope I get it right.” 

“I’m sure they’ll be delicious,” she says to him. “We’re celebrating tonight, so I bought champagne!” She starts to set the table while Rafael finishes up dinner. She’s excited that it is just the two of them tonight. 

She finishes setting the table and dinner is ready a few minutes after. Rafael places the main dish on the table before rushing back to finish up the salad. The two dig into the meal and discuss their days, as usual. The focus is mainly on Rafael’s new job. He keeps making a point to ask about the trial. They finally found the garbage that skipped out on bail. At the end of the meal, they have a toast. “To you, Liv.”

“And to you,” Olivia responds.

* * *

 

Having finally cleaned up after dinner, the two sit on the couch to relax for a moment. Olivia hands him a glass of wine. Rafael takes a sip while he basks in the moment, thinking wisely before his next move. “Thank you, Liv. I really couldn’t have done this without you. You lifted me up. You’re the one that gave me the confidence to do this. Liv, I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I am so grateful that you are in my life.” He realizes they’re sitting closer now, facing each other. Their wine glasses are on the coffee table, apparently unnecessary for this conversation.

“I see the man you are, Rafael. A strong, incredibly smart man. You’re ability to face any challenge and create a solution is unbelievable. You’re amazing, Rafa.” Liv’s hand is on his at this point, she’s squeezing it gently to show how serious she is. At that moment, Rafael leans in closer to her, their foreheads almost touching. His heart is racing faster than before and he gets a rush of adrenaline. Before he knows it, he’s moving his face closer to hers until their lips meet. All at once, Rafael’s body sinks into comfort, his hands on her cheeks. Olivia moans quietly into his mouth. Time seems to stop during this moment and Rafael has never felt more at peace. When they pull apart, their eyes remain locked on each other. Olivia is the first one to break this by grabbing her glass of wine.

“Now what?” she asks after a small silence.

“Liv, nothing has been clear to me these past three months, except for one thing,” Rafael pauses to take another sip of wine. “You, Liv. You were my beacon of light in the darkest sky, through it all. I just want you, Liv. You and Noah. And me. Us. I want us.” A moment of silence falls again he breaks it nervously, “I-if that’s what you want.”

Olivia chuckles a bit, “Of course it is, Rafa. It honestly has been for some time.”

“Wait, really? How long?” Rafael is curious to know when she knew. He wonders how close it is to when he did.

“This is going to sound weird, but it was during the Lewis trial. The way you stuck by my side the whole time, making sure I was okay. You defended me so many times, even when you shouldn’t have in court. You supported me and comforted me. That’s when I knew,” she explains to him, he’s put his hand on hers, rubbing her pinky with his thumb. His eyes are welling up and she can’t help but get emotional about it too. 

“I can’t believe it,” Rafael chuckles to himself. Shaking his head he responds in disbelief, “That was it for me, too. This whole time we both felt this way, I almost told you the day I left my job. I stayed strong during the Householder trial because of you. You showed me how during the Lewis trial. Your strength and conviction, it was unbelievable. When I saw you during your testimony, I realized my admiration had grown to love. Your strength showed me that I could make it through my trial.”

“I love you, Rafael,” Olivia says to him. Her voice is so soft that Rafael melts into it. He closes his eyes in inhales deeply through his nose. 

“I love you too, Olivia,” he kisses her again, this time with less reservations. Suddenly her hands are pulling his shirt over his head and he is doing the same. Before anything else could happen on the couch, they decided to move into her bedroom. All Rafael kept thinking was that this was the best day he has ever had. 


	5. Ch. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Amanda talk about Olivia's weekend with Rafael. Carisi overhears a bit of the conversation and jumps in.

After spending every waking hour over the weekend with Rafael, Olivia is noticing she isn’t all that excited about going back into work today. She loves spending time with him, and she loves how he is with Noah. Teaching him spanish and helping him with his homework and puzzles. She loves that he brings breakfast every morning and stays until midnight every night. He still has yet to stay over since the night he stayed to help her out, she shrugs it off. She remembers it’s only officially been a few days. She still can’t stop thinking about Friday night, how intense and passionate it was. She smiles as she walks into work and greets everyone.

Today is relatively easy, just a lot of paperwork for the trial that just passed. It was a conviction meaning that spirits were up in everyone. Olivia steps into the break room for some coffee. Her phone buzzes and she checks it.

                 Rafa: Hey nena, I hope you had a good morning.

                 Liv: I did, it was weird not having you there, though.

                 Rafa: I’ll be there when you get home. I’ll start dinner after I get Noah from school. I have an early day.

                 Liv: Sounds incredible. I will grab a bottle of wine. See you later, Rafa.

                 Rafa: Hasta luego nena.

Olivia smiles at her phone as Amanda walks into the room. “What’re ya smilin’ at, Liv?”

“Oh, I guess I forgot to mention this morning that Rafa got a new job! He started on Friday, and the-”

“That’s great!” Amanda interrupts her excitedly. “I know how hard we worked to get here.”

“Yeah, it is, there’s more though,” Olivia can’t help but smile at this point. “We, uh, we kissed. A lot.”

“Wait you picked up Noah without telling me?” Amanda is mockingly upset. “Damn, Liv.”

Olivia chuckles, “I honestly didn’t want to jinx it at that point.”

“You have to tell me how this happened!” The detective is almost shrieking at this point. Olivia gives her every detail that night, even the dirtier ones. After about fifteen minutes of explanation, Olivia takes a deep breath.

“So, yeah, that’s what happened,” she puts an end to the story.

“Well, turns out you do kiss and tell,” Amanda jokes, her southern accent more noticeable than normal. There’s a quiet chuckle from the door as Carisi saunters in.

“Sonny, hey,” Amanda straightens up. “Uh, what’s up? How’s paperwork?”

“Oh, you know, it’s okay. Not nearly as exciting as this break room, though. Am I right?” He smirks at the two of them sitting at the table. “So, you have a good weekend, Lieu?”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” she says sheepishly looking to cup of coffee in her hand. “You?”

Carisi shrugs and looks back at his coffee, chuckling to himself quietly. “Man, I knew it.”

“Wait, what?” Olivia and Amanda say in unison, equally confused.

“Well, I’m just sayin’,” he starts to explain himself. “I knew it. It was after the Lewis trial. You guys just, I don’t know, you seemed closer than usual. It was your body language.”

“You’re observant,” Amanda says in awe.

“Well, yeah, I’m a detective. I’m literally your partner,” Carisi defends himself quickly.

“But how?” Olivia is still curious about this.

Sighing, Carisi refills his coffee cup before he moves forward with this. “Your feet pointed toward each other whenever you were in the same room, even when you were talking to other people. That’s an obvious tell. Everyone knows that.” He rolls his eyes at that statement. “You two almost stood shoulder to shoulder whenever I saw you together. Oh, and don’t even get me starting on the staring!” At this point, Carisi doesn’t understand how Amanda didn’t notice and is explaining it to her more than he is Olivia now.

“Our what?” Olivia prods on for more information. She’s shocked at this point. How had she never noticed Rafael acting like this toward her? Amanda is just sitting there, taking it all in. She never realized how in tune to people Carisi is.

“Oh c’mon, you know! You guys are always staring at each other and it’s so intense,” he adds quickly. His mouth hangs open in amazement at how oblivious his friends are. 

“Wait, why didn’t you say anything?” Amanda interjects.

“Not my place, sorry Lieu,” he shrugs shaking it off and looking at Olivia. Then he smiles so wide, his eyes crinkle at the corners, “I’m happy for you two.” He has that contagious smile, Amanda can’t help but smile too. Then Olivia follows. She leans back and takes a sip of her coffee. She can’t help but think about how lucky she is for her squad. Her family.

“I still can’t believe you knew!” Amanda says frustrated.

“It was fairly obvious. Anyway, I gotta get back to work. You two should, too. Stop gossiping,” he winks at the pair before he heads back to his desk. Olivia and Amanda share a laugh before returning to their paperwork.


	6. Ch. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael realizes he hasn't told his mother about his new relationship with Olivia. Rafael makes a new friend at his job.

Rafael wakes up suddenly from a deep sleep, slightly startled. He looks at Olivia sleeping so peacefully next to him. He smiles and takes in her beauty, sighing in relief that he didn’t wake her up. He gets out of bed carefully and heads to the bathroom. In the middle of brushing his teeth he realizes something. He gasps with a mouth full of toothpaste and realizes that was a bad decision to make.

He finishes as quickly as possible and looks up at the mirror, wiping his face to make sure there is no toothpaste in the neat beard he has maintained. “I can’t believe I haven’t told mamí yet,” he grumbles to himself as he combs his hair with his fingers. Shaking his head he sighs, “I’m such a bad son.” He mumbles more to himself as he fills the glass with water and takes a gulp. Drying his mouth off, he returns to the bedroom, he can’t help but kiss Olivia’s bare shoulder. She still doesn’t wake. He smiles at her before he heads to the living room to prepare himself for when he speaks with his mother.

* * *

 

Around noon on his third day of work, Rafael receives a text.

                    Liv: Hey Rafa, lunch?

                    Rafa: Sí, you pick.

                    Liv: I’ll text you when I’m at your office.

                    Rafa: Okay, nena. See you soon.

Rafael really wants to meet her at his apartment for a less innocent date, but lunch will do just fine. He chuckles at his desk, shaking his head at himself for how inappropriately that train of thought went. “I need to chill.”

Suddenly a head pops up over the divider of Rafael's cubicle. “You what?” The voice of the young man startles Rafael a bit. He forgot he wasn’t alone like he used to be in his old job.

“Oh, nothing Jake, I was just musing to myself,” Rafael explains himself to his coworker.

“You have any lunch plans? I’m gonna check out that new deli down the street!” Jake says excitedly while slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“As tempting as that sounds I am meeting my… girlfriend? We’ve never said anything out loud but that seems immature. My significant other?” He’s at a loss.

“Nah, bro too stiff,” Jake offers his input. “What about like, partner?”

“Partner, yeah. That sounds best, huh?” Rafael smiles.

“Well, I’m gonna jet. You have fun with your partner,” Jake winks at Rafael as he turns on his heel to get to the elevator.

Shouting after him Rafael clarifies, “It really is just lunch!”

As Jake steps into the elevator, he laughs, “Sure, bro.”

* * *

 

Rafael walks with Olivia to the café a block away from his office. He hasn’t been able to figure out how he wants to tell his mother about his new love. He makes a plan to bring it up to Olivia before lunch is over. They’re a team now, he doesn’t have to do this solo.

“So, I still haven’t told my mother about us,” Rafael decides to rip off the bandaid as their food arrives.

Olivia cocks her head to the side and sets her sandwich down, “Really? Why?”

“It didn’t really cross my mind?” He shrugs, “I have just been soaking in all this happiness. I didn’t want anyone else to burst that bubble yet.”

“Well, the squad knows. You know I’m bad at secrets,” Olivia smiles at him behind her coffee cup.

“Yeah, but they don’t text me everyday asking how _we_ are!” Rafael jokes. “I can’t tell her over the phone. What do you say to dinner? All four of us?”

Olivia smiles and nods to agree. She loves how he always includes Noah in everything. They continue on with their lunch and finish eating. Before they head back to their offices, Rafael decides to call his mother.

“Hola mamí, cómo estás?” He says quickly, “Sí, sí, bien. I have a question to ask you. Would you like to join me for dinner tomorrow night? There will be some special guests, I am rather excited.” His voice becomes a little diplomatic. “Mhmm, good. Yeah, my place. It’s not much but it’s got an okay kitchen.” Olivia’s heart clenches at that thought. When she thinks of home she thinks of Rafael and Noah, the three of them together, she knows that’s how he feels too.

“Bien, bien. I’ll take care of dessert. Gracias, mamí. Te amo,” Rafael locks his phone and slides it into his pocket before he takes his partner’s hand. “I am so much more nervous than you think I am.” Olivia just smiles at him. They walk back to his office, the precinct is only two more blocks away, they got pretty lucky that way.

Once they’re outside, they kiss goodbye before parting ways. Jake runs up to Rafael inside the lobby, “Yo, Raf! Is that her?”

“Sure is, that’s my partner, Liv,” Rafael smiles and puffs his chest out a bit feeling proud of his love.

“Man, she’s smoking,” Jake says punching Rafael’s shoulder gently.

Rafael chuckles, “You don’t know the half of it.” He winks at Jake. Jake tilts his head back in laughter as he stumbles onto the elevator.

“You’re a lucky guy, Raf,” he says once he’s calmed down.

“Oh, I know. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. But damn, I love her with all my heart,” Rafael is smiling as he steps off the elevator and heads back into work.


	7. Ch. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael tells his mother about Olivia at dinner.

“Hola hijo, hola nena!” Rafael shouts from his kitchen when the two walk in.

“Hola Rafa!” Noah is already hugging Rafael’s legs from behind. Rafael turns around to pick him up for a hug.

“Hey Noh, que pasa?” Rafael is glowing with excitement.

“Waiting for dinner!” Noah giggles before Rafael sets him down. “What are you making?”

“Dulce de Leche pudding, hijo. It’s amazing. My abuelita used to make it for me when I was your age!” Rafael is excited to share this piece of his family with his new one. Smiling, he turns to Olivia to welcome her into his home. “Hola nena, cómo estás?”

“Bien,” Olivia smiles trying to keep up, her spanish had gotten a bit rusty, but it’s getting a lot better with Rafael around. “Y tú?”

“Yo también soy bueno,” Rafael keeps it up a bit longer. “Nothing too special on my end of things.”

Ten minutes later, a knock on the door grabs everyone’s attention. Rafael jumps up and opens the door for his mother. “Hola mamí, cómo estás?”

“Estoy bien, hijo. What about you?” Lucia is smiling at her son. They move in to the kitchen to heat up the enchiladas she made for dinner. “I thought you said you had special guests. You know I love Liv, but it’s just Liv.” She shrugs nonchalantly about the mother and son sitting in the living room.

Rafael is smiling and he can’t help it. He looks down at the food he’s holding in his hands, “Mamí, they are special guests.” He leads on hoping she figures out what he’s trying to say. He continues to nod and smile as he watches her piece the puzzle together in her head.

“Oh! Dios mío! Rafi! Mi hijo! Tú y Liv?” Her tone is still slightly hushed in case she is wrong. Rafael is smiling ear to ear at this point as he nods, he really has lost control of that. Lucia’s eyes start to tear up. She’s notices how happy her son is in this moment. “Oh Rafi, this is wonderful. I always knew you two would end up together. Destinado.” She is speaking louder now, catching Olivia’s attention. She walks away from Noah who is playing on the living room floor with some toys Rafael picked up for when he’s at his place.

“Rafa, did you spoil the surprise?” She pouts a bit before smiling at him.

“No, nena! She put it together all by herself! You can ask her, I didn’t say a word!” Rafael shoots back.

“Sí, he’s right Liv,” Lucia backs up her son. She makes her way over to Olivia to hug her. While they hug, Lucia whispers “Welcome to the family, hija.” She kisses her cheek.

“Gracias,” Olivia says unexpectedly emotional from that. Rafael notices this immediately.

“Nena, que pasa? What’s wrong?” He’s worried and protective from the other side of the counter.

“It’s nothing. I’m just- I’m happy?” Olivia is confused about her own emotions. “I never thought I’d be here, with a man I love to the moon and back, his mother, and my son. My family.” She wipes tears from her eyes and notices Rafael and Lucia are also crying at this point. Rafael rests his hands on the counter and looks Olivia in the eye, “I guess we’re a family now, huh?”

* * *

 

When dessert comes around, Noah finishes his almost as quickly as he got it. “Rafa you were right! This stuff is- it’s, uh, delicioso!” He exclaims as he licks his bowl.

“Right hijo? I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that,” Rafael smiles at the boy, he loves him so much. “One day when you’re older, I will teach you how to make it. How’s that sound?”

“Bien! Muy bien!” Noah giggles as he runs off to play with some toys.

Lucia says goodbye a little while later. Once she leaves, Rafael and Olivia tackle the dishes in the kitchen as they watch Noah play in the living room. As they listen to the boy giggle at himself, they both sigh in unison. Rafael puts his hand over Olivia’s that she had resting on the counter, “I don’t know what I would do without you, Liv.”

“Then don’t,” she responds turning to look at him.


	8. Ch. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Halloween approaches, the small family takes a big step together.

Three months have gone by since the dinner and the family is approaching their first holiday season together, starting with Halloween. Olivia and Rafael stroll behind Noah as he looks at Halloween costumes for his school party on Monday. Rafael has been very busy with a big bill being voted on soon but is happy to be able to spend this time with his son and partner. The bill will work on alleviating the excessive workload on public defenders. This will ultimately allow them to spend more time and energy on each case they have.

Noah pulls a police costume off of the rack and holds it up, “What about this one? I can be like mama!”

Olivia and Rafael smile at the boy, nodding in agreement. “I think that will be great,” Rafael grabs the costume and they head to the front of the store to pay for it. Noah walks between the two holding each of their hands. They talk about what treats Rafael is going to make with Noah for the Halloween party at school. Noah decides on making ghost-shaped cookies.

“I like to eat the frosting when we are done,” he giggles, looking up at Rafael.

* * *

 

That night, Rafael sits on the edge of Olivia’s bed reflecting on everything. “I can’t believe it’s been seven months since I let go of becoming the DA.”

“I know, it seems like yesterday, right? Us working together,” Olivia has moved behind him, wrapping her arms and legs around his torso and cuddling her head into his neck.

Rafael snuggles his face into the crook of her elbow before lifting it back up to speak, “Mi amor, to me it also feels like forever ago. I feel like all of this, us has just been-” he pauses briefly to gather his thoughts properly before he proceeds.

“Hmm?” Olivia prompts him.

“Just, forever? Inevitable?” Rafael still isn’t sure how to put it.

“Destined,” Olivia says peacefully, smiling into his neck. She then gently kisses his neck, sending shivers down Rafael’s spine and making him moan quietly. He turns around and puts Olivia on her back.

“Yeah, destined. I like that,” he kisses her passionately between words.

* * *

 

The next morning Olivia wakes up to an empty bed, for a moment she is worried. That is, until she can hear Rafael singing quietly from the kitchen. This immediately soothes her worry, Rafael is an amazing singer. She smiles as she rolls out of bed to brush her teeth and clean up before heading down the hallway into the kitchen. She makes sure to peak in on Noah and see if he is awake yet, the boy is still peacefully sleeping with his elephant Eddie. She smiles at him, thankful for his love.

“Buenos días, mi amor,” Rafael calls from his place in front of the stove. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty well after last night,” Olivia laughs as she wraps her arms around his waist. “How about you?”

“Very, very, _very_ well,” Rafael turns his attention away from the french toast he is making for a brief moment to kiss his partner good morning. “Last night was definitely amazing, wasn’t it?”

“Phenomenal,” with that, Olivia releases Rafael from his hug so he can turn back around. She pours herself a cup of coffee and gets to work slicing up strawberries for breakfast. The two work in harmony putting breakfast together and setting the table as Rafael sings show tunes. After a half an hour, Noah shuffles out into the kitchen.

“Buenos días, hijo,” Rafael greets him while carrying a plate of bacon to the table.

“Good morning, sweet boy,” Olivia stops on her way to the table to kiss the curls on top of son’s head.

“Morning, I’m glad I didn’t miss breakfast!” Noah said sleepily. He plops down into his seat with Eddie the Elephant in his lap. He had been relatively attached to him since the whole thing with Sheila happened. “Thanks for cooking!”

The family eats breakfast and works as a team to clean it up. When they’ve finished the dishes, Noah darts to the living room to pick out a card game. They settle with Go Fish. Rafael is very good at this game, being able to read both Noah’s and Olivia’s faces rather well. The three of them settle onto the living room floor around the coffee table where they begin their competitive game of cards.

When it becomes Noah’s turn to pick, he stops for a moment and looks at his mom, then over to Rafael. “Rafa?”

“What is it, hijo?” Rafael looks up at the boy over his glasses, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just wondering. Why don’t you live here?” Noah blurts out the question as if he had been holding his breath for a long time.

“Actually, hijo, I am not sure,” he looks over to Olivia in a panic, his eyes asking for help.

“Well,” Olivia props her head up with her hand. “Why don’t you?” She’s teasing him and a smile flashes across her face. She is relieved that Noah’s outburst saved her the time and anxiety of asking.

“Noh, would you like me to live with you?” Rafael redirects the question back to the young boy.

“Sí papa, I want you to be here always!” Noah shoots his arms in the air the emphasize how he’s feeling. Rafael pauses for a moment and puts his cards down.

“Papa. Noh you called me papa,” his eyes are filling with tears rapidly.

“Well, yeah I did. You’re my dad, mi Papa!” Noah answers back as if it were obvious to everyone. At this point both Rafael and Olivia are both crying and Noah gets concerned. “Those are happy, right mama?”

“Of course, sweet boy,” Olivia nods to reassure her son that she is very happy.

At this point, Rafael knows what needs to be done. He jumps up from the floor as quickly as he can. “Alright hijo, I’ll go pack up my stuff now.” He goes into the bedroom to change out of his pajamas. As he walks down the hallway, Noah follows him all dressed up and ready to go. Olivia is on her way to get dressed. The three of them head out, hand-in-hand to Rafael’s apartment.

They fill up three boxes with the things Rafael actually wants to keep- clothes, photos, books, and some kitchen supplies. Rafael knew this apartment was never going to feel like home for him, he intended to find a new apartment to call his own one day when he was out of transition. Now he is done transitioning from being an ADA. He loves his job. Just after the three months of being there, he was promoted from Lobbyist to the Director of Campaigns. He leads the team of lobbyists while also working in the field. They find new bills and causes to back and speak out for and then he organizes how they will succeed in it. He’s not only teaching his team, he is also teaching the public. He thinks about his partner and son, yes his son. They have helped him so much, he has grown _so much_ because of them. With a sigh of relief, he looks around the apartment one more time making sure he didn’t miss anything. “Let’s go home.”


	9. Ch. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween and Olivia gets called into work. Rafael decides to take another step forward in their relationship.

When Monday comes, Noah bounds down the hall shouting, “Mama, papa! Look!” The couple looks over from where they’re standing in the kitchen and rush over to Noah with smiles. He is in his Halloween costume, they smother him with hugs and kisses before the three of them settle into their usual seats for breakfast.

“Are we gonna go out tonight for Halloween?” Noah asks for the millionth time since Friday.

“Yes, hijo,” Rafael says smiling. He loves how persistent Noah is, he clarifies and double checks on things often. _Just like me,_ Rafael thinks to himself. At the end of breakfast, Rafael and Noah make their way to school with the cookies in hand. On their way to school, Noah asks Rafael about Sheila.

“Rafa?” Noah asks quietly. “When is grandma Sheila going to be back at her house again?”

“Oh, I- I don’t know, hijo,” Rafael stumbles over his response, surprised by this interrogation.

“Well, when will she be cured of her sick?” Noah shoots back with a hopeful tone.

“Noh,” Rafael has stopped walking and stands in front of Noah. Squatting down on his knees to be eye-to-eye with him, he puts his hands on his son’s shoulders. “I’m not sure if she will be. Let’s talk with mama tonight about this, okay?” Rafael is getting more nervous about the thought. He was not prepared for this conversation today. He’d never thought about Noah asking _him_ about it. After a long ten minutes of uncomfortable silence, they reach Noah’s school.

“Adiós, hijo,” Rafael breaks the silence, “te amo.”

“Te amo, papa,” Noah says back still quiet. As Noah walks away Rafael can’t help but feel bad for the boy. He has never stopped thinking about how much the whole ordeal with Sheila had affected him. He pulls out his phone to call Olivia.

“Hey Rafa, what’s up?” Olivia asks as she answers. Rafael can hear phones ringing and Amanda talking in the background.

“I hope I’m not interrupting, nena,” Rafael says looking for a way to put off this conversation.

“Not at all, babe. What’s going on?” Olivia can hear the seriousness in his voice. She sits down behind her desk and takes a deep breath to calm her nerves.

“Noah asked me about Sheila today. I’m sorry, I wasn’t prepared to answer the questions. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me. I-” Rafael is cut off.

“I’m so sorry, Rafa,” Olivia is worried about Rafael. He gets too hard on himself, especially when it comes to things that happen with Noah. “I’ll- _we_ will talk to him tonight, okay?”

“That’s what I suggested to him. He seemed to look forward to it but,” Rafael swallows down the lump in his throat, “he still seemed so sad when I dropped him off at school.” Rafael’s eyes are welling up at this point. He tries to blink the tears away but they end up pouring over his face. Olivia is silent on her end for a moment, understanding what is happening on his side of the phone call.

“Rafa, I promise you he will be okay,” Olivia’s voice is soft and nurturing, “just like we will. He just doesn’t know how to process all of this yet.”

“He’s- he’s so young,” Rafael blurts out, “he doesn’t deserve to have gone through this already!” He is mad at this point. Mad at Sheila, what she did to Noah and Olivia. He wants her to be stuck in a prison for the rest of her life but he knows that isn’t fair to her. Rafael and Olivia stay on the phone together until Rafael heads into the elevator at his office. He hangs up right before he steps in and notices Jake is there as well.

“Morning, Raf!” Jake is way too perky for how early it is on a Monday, “How was your weekend?”

“It was great,” Rafael says, cracking a small smile as he remembers all of it, “I officially moved in with Liv.”

“Wait, you _just_ moved in?” Jake is surprised at this news, but not for the reason Rafael thought.

“Yeah, officially,” Rafael is sure to clarify, making sure he knew that he had spent almost every night there anyway.

“I guess I just assumed you guys lived together for a lot longer than that,” Jake says shaking his head a bit. “I dunno, bro.”

“We’ve only been dating for like, three and a half months, dude,” Rafael’s speech is much more relaxed at this job, he’s comfortable here. His friendship with Jake had grown since he’d started the job. Even though they no longer shared a cubicle cluster, they still spent most of the work days together.

“Oh, I really thought it had been a lot longer than that?” Jake is even more surprised by this realization than the earlier news. “Wild.” The elevator reaches their floor so Rafael decides that that was a good place to end the conversation. The two step out, Jake heads for his cubicle as Rafael heads to his office. He loves his office, the walls are covered in art that Noah’s made and photos of his family. He smiles as he sits down behind his desk to answer his emails from the weekend.

* * *

 

When Olivia gets home from work, Rafael and Noah are sitting at the coffee table working on another puzzle while listening to jazz. “Hola nena,” Rafael perks up when the door opens.

“Hola mama!” Noah runs up to her to give her a hug, “Did you have a good day at work?”

“Actually, yes. We got the bad guy today!” She scoops up her son for a hug and kisses his cheek. “That always makes it a good day.” Rafael smiles and nods at her in a congratulatory way. She smiles back as she walks over and puts Noah back down on the living room floor.

“Sweet boy, should we talk about grandma Sheila?” Olivia asks in a quiet and soothing tone.

“Yes please,” Noah’s tone is hushed as well. The two can see he is nervous.

“Well, hijo, your grandma isn’t well,” Rafael bites the bullet, “we don’t know if she ever will be.” He glances over at Olivia hoping she will validate his efforts and she nods slightly at him. 

“Sheila is dealing with a lot of different feelings right now, Noh. You know how you get when you are overwhelmed sometimes?” She asks the boy and he nods in silence. “She is like that all the time. Does that make sense?” He nods again.

“So, she has to stay in a home with other people who are feeling overwhelmed as well. She gets help there and has people who understand what she is feeling,” Rafael is getting better at this, snowballing on what Olivia said. “The feelings may never go away, though. But hopefully she will be able to cope with them in better ways soon.” Noah sighs a bit and nods again. He is still in his costume and he plays with the plastic badge on his chest to avoid making eye contact with his parents.

“Okay,” he finally says, “Can we go see her again?” The couple nods in unison and say they will face that after Trick-or-Treating. As the trio gets off of the floor to head out of their home, Olivia’s phone rings.

“Benson,” she says shortly, already knowing what is about to be said to her, “uh-huh, okay. I’ll be right there.” She sighs as she puts the phone back in her coat pocket. “I gotta go to the station-”

“It’s okay, mi amor. We understand,” Rafael reassures her while putting his arm around Noah’s shoulder. Noah nods in agreement and tells his mother to go save someone. Olivia smiles at her son and kisses them both goodbye. Rafael stops her before she leaves, “call us when you’re out and we’ll let you know where to meet us.”

After two hours of wasted time, the squad learns that the call into the precinct had been a prank. Frustrated the she missed this time with her family because of some stupid teenager, Olivia texts Rafael.

                   Liv: It was a prank call. Who makes a prank like that? This stuff isn’t a joke!

                   Rafa: Oh, nena I’m so sorry. We haven’t even reached the end of our block yet, you’ve got plenty of time still. See you soon, I love you.

                   Liv: I love you too, Rafa.

Olivia parks her car in the spot she has reserved for her behind her building and makes her way to the other end of the block to meet the rest of her family. “Look at how much candy I got already, mama!” Noah is running up to her. Rafael looks up from the excited boy to his partner smiling.

“Hola, nena,” he says calmly.

The couple walks arm-in-arm a few paces behind Noah, being sure to keep a close eye on him. They are both always alert after what they’ve seen happen to people, especially on Halloween night. Olivia is still bothered by the prank call from earlier but tries to let go of it and focus on this time with her family. Their first Halloween together, she couldn’t help but look forward to her future with Rafael. _We make a good team,_ she thought smiling to herself.

About an hour later, they have finally made it back to their home. The trio walks down the hallway to their door slowly, Noah is tuckered out from running all night while the couple is simply enjoying their night together as a family. Once they’ve settled in and Noah is in his pajamas, Rafael lets the boy have one piece of candy before bed.

* * *

 

The next morning, Olivia walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Rafael and Noah are hunched over the table muttering to each other. As Olivia approaches the table she realizes Rafael is instructing Noah on how to adequately ration out his candy. “It’s important to have an established timeline. Do you want this to last a whole month?” The boy nods and Rafael praises the good plan, “Okay, now we have to do some math to figure how many pieces you can eat per day.” The boy looks puzzled and shrugs. After a short minute, Rafael jolts up with an answer, “Two per day! Now, I think you should have one chocolate and one sugary piece each day, make sense?” Olivia laughs and walks away to start breakfast.

After breakfast Noah gets ready for school and Rafael joins Olivia in the kitchen. “I see you were teaching our son important life skills this morning,” Olivia jokes with him as he pours a cup of coffee. Rafael can’t help but smile when she says “our son.”

“Gotta start ‘em young, nena,” he smiles at her and shrugs before he kisses her on the cheek. Rafael is already dressed for work in a tan suit with a light blue shirt and a dark blue plaid tie. Olivia can’t help but notice how amazing he looks dressed up for work. He’s taken to wearing his glasses now and she takes him all in at once. His beard is neat and trimmed, accented by his round copper colored tortoise shell glasses. _He is so handsome,_ she thinks to herself, _how did I get so lucky?_ She is shaken from thought when Noah runs into the kitchen to announce he is ready for school. She watches as her son and partner walk out of the apartment to head to school.

Rafael drops Noah off and heads into work. He is anxious about the day, it’s decision day on the bill they had been lobbying for for months. As the elevator doors open, he sighs trying to release the stress in his shoulders but it doesn’t work. The atmosphere at his job isn’t usually tense but on days like this, none of them can help it. They are all so passionate about what they do, they take every decision and case personally.  At 1pm, the team learns that the bill has passed and the vibe of the office does a total 180 in a matter of seconds. Public defenders’ work loads will be decreased by a large amount and more will be hired in by the city. Rafael smiles to himself in his office. He reminisces about how many cases he fought and won against public defenders. He is sad he won’t get a chance to face them now that they are able to prepare for the case ahead of them.

“Hey bro,” Jake’s head peaks into his office, “we’re all heading out for drinks to celebrate after work, you and Liv should come with!”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Rafael says happily, “I’ll ask!” Before Rafael texts Olivia, he makes sure to check in with Lucy first.

                Rafael Barba: Hey Lucy, the bill passed. Would love to take Liv out to celebrate with my colleagues. Could you stay later tonight?

                Lucy Huston: Yeah, absolutely! Congrats, I know you all worked hard on this!! See you around 10?

                Rafael Barba: 10 sounds great, Liv and I will call around 7 to say goodnight to Noah before the routine.

                Lucy Huston: Sounds good!

                Rafael Barba: Thank you, again!

Rafael navigates through his phone to call his partner. She picks up after one ring, “Hey Rafa, I just heard about the bill I was about to call!” She seems truly shocked at the fact they were both calling each other at the same time.

“Hi nena, isn’t it amazing? I can’t believe we did it,” Rafael is still in shock from the news, “would you like to go out with my colleagues tonight to celebrate?”

“I’d have to call Lucy and-”

“No need, mi amor. I already texted her and asked,” Rafael interrupts to save time, “our curfew has been extended to 10. We will call Noh at 7 to say goodnight.” He’s smiling at himself for planning ahead. Olivia laughs on the other end.

“That’s why I love you so much,” she says candidly.

“I love you too, Liv,” Rafael says in a smooth tone, “I’ll see you later.”

A few hours later, Olivia steps out of the elevator. Rafael meets her there to introduce her to his teammates she hasn’t met yet. “Hey Liv! It’s great to see you again!” Jake gives Olivia a hug before getting a serious tone, “I know he won’t take the credit for this, but Raf is the reason this bill got passed.” Rafael blushes and looks down at his shoes and Olivia smiles and rubs his back.

“I don’t doubt it, but I know he had your help,” she says to Jake.

The group of friends heads to the bar down the block to celebrate their victory. After a couple of rounds, the couple calls Lucy to say goodnight to Noah. When they hang up, Jake is holding his glass up to make a toast, “To Mr. Rafael Barba, the man who made this happen.”

“To Raf,” everyone says in unison. Olivia wraps her around around his waist and pulls him closer. Rafael smiles and thanks everyone. He’s feeling luckier than ever to have such amazing people around him. These people have become his friends, he can’t believe it but Jake has become one of his closest friends. He shakes his head and laughs to himself at that, he never thought that he’d get along with Jake, they were completely different people.

After a few more drinks than they had planned on having, Olivia and Rafael head home arm-in-arm laughing about things that had happened at the bar. “Hey Liv?” Rafael says in a more serious tone.

“Yeah, Rafa?” Olivia slows her pace down so she can turn to look at her partner.

“I feel like I don’t say it enough, but thank you,” he says back to her as he continues to walk on.

“For what?” Olivia is a little confused by his serious tone, but eager to hear what comes next.

“Everything, nena. You’ve done so much for me,” Rafael says these words through a sigh of relief.

“You’ve done so much for me too, Rafa,” she’s stopped walking at this point, the couple stands in the middle of a park, ”you’ve done so much more than I could ever ask for. You’re a father to our son and that means the world to me. He may be my sun, Rafa, but you are my moon.”

Rafael kisses Olivia in response to what she’s just said. He is slightly speechless as his brain processes the situation. _This is it,_ he thinks _I’m gonna do it._ Rafael gets down on one knee and looks up at the love of his life. In a bout of surprise, Olivia steps back slightly and gasps. “Olivia Benson, you are the love of my life. Before you, I was a rigid man with only one goal in sight. But you showed me color, Liv, you know that. I love you for that. And for so much more. You supported me and encouraged me through all the ups and downs. Stood by me through everything. Thank you,” at this point in Rafael’s speech, Olivia can’t stop crying. She simply just nods her head continuously. “Olivia Margaret Benson, will you marry me?” She keeps nodding as Rafael pushes himself back up to meet her eyes with his. He pulls the ring from the box he had been keeping in his coat pocket for the perfect moment. It fits perfectly on her left ring finger. Olivia looks at it and admires how well Rafael knows her. It is a simple and perfect ring, silver band with three small diamonds. One to represent each family member.

“Rafa,” Olivia is trying to catch her breath, “no matter what happened, you backed me up. We are a team and we always have been. Whenever Dodds would try to hinder a case, you made sure it kept moving, you stood up to him. During the whole Lewis ordeal, the trial, you kept my spirits up. You protected me from his attacks in the courtroom. You’ve always protected me. I promise you that I will protect you just as much as you do for me. I love you.” They kiss once more before continuing on toward their home. Olivia still can’t believe what just happened and Rafael’s knees are still a bit shaky from the adrenaline. They giggle on their way home, looking at each other more than the sidewalk ahead of them.

When they walk through the door, they are sure to remain as quiet as possible so they don’t wake Noah. Rafael smiles and quietly greets Lucy as he heads into the hallway to check on his son. Immediately, Lucy notices the ring on Olivia’s finger. “Oh my gosh!” she exclaims in a whisper, “Liv! What is this?!”

“It’s a ring, Lucy,” Olivia jokes with her, “but yeah, that happened tonight.” She gives her nanny a brief rundown of what happened before her fiancé returns. They try to settle down as Rafael enters the living room. He looks at the two of them and smirks.

“Nothing gets by you, huh?” His eyes dart over to Lucy as she suppresses a smile.

“Raf! I’m so excited for you two!” She rushes over to hug him and tries to remain as quiet as possible. Before she heads out the door, she congratulates the couple for the fifth time and says goodbye. The two head to their bedroom to get ready for bed, exhausted after the exciting night.

As Olivia walks out of the bathroom, she sees Rafael sitting on the edge of their bed smiling at her with a peaceful look in his eye. “What?” She says chuckling at her fiancé.

“Oh, nothing, nena,” he says following her across the room with his eyes, “I just love you so much.” She smiles and stops in front of him, leaning over to kiss him. Rafael pushes himself back on the bed and pulls Olivia on top of him.


	10. Ch. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple does a little bit of wedding planning. After Thanksgiving, Olivia decides it's a good time to take Noah to visit Sheila.
> 
> **********TW: Discussion of sexual assault************

The family sits together at the table after dinner with Lucia. Almost a month has passed since Rafael proposed to Olivia. Lucia pulls out a notebook and pen while putting on her glasses. “Okay, hijo, have you two thought about the wedding at all? Where will it be? What time of day? What is your color scheme? What food will we eat? What-”

Rafael cuts off his mother, “No, mamí, we haven’t. You know we’ve both been very busy with this case right now.” The couple smiles at each other, happy to be working together again even if it is in a different capacity. This case was very important to him. A minor had been sexually assaulted on Hudson’s campus, the third case on campus this year. She was visiting the university’s campus for a tour as she was planning to attend the following year. Unsurprisingly, the university tried to sweep it under the rug like they had in the past. The squad is fighting to bring the girl’s attackers to justice and VPC is fighting for the rights of the victim. Rafael has taken on the family’s legal issues as their counselor, pro bono. He is happy to help and be back in a courtroom. This means the two get to spend more time together. Making sure they didn’t do anything to put the case in jeopardy, the two made their visits to the necessary people to disclose their relationship before they even arrested the victim’s attackers. They need to win this case to prove a point to the university.

“Ah, sí, I forgot about the case,” Lucia nods understandingly, “how are you two feeling about it?”

“We’re okay, mamí, just a bit stressed,” Rafael answers first.

“We are all worried they will side with the boys and their ‘bright future,’” Olivia uses air quotes. At this point in the conversation, Noah has lost interest and moved into his room to play with his toys. “What if they don’t put the girl’s trauma into consideration? All she’s been through? She was at that place because she saw her future there, and they took that away from her!” Olivia gets herself worked up about it. Rafael and Lucia both place a hand on Olivia’s.

“Hey, hija, it’s okay,” Lucia says in a calming voice, smiling, “you two are a force to be reckoned with. I know you will win this.”

Rafael is tracing Olivia’s ring with his thumb, “Sí, nena, mamí is right. We will do a great job.” Olivia smiles, gathers herself, and regains her composure as Noah saunters out of his room already in his pajamas. Rafael scoops his son into his arms and they walk to his room to do their nightly routine of two stories before the boy drifts off to sleep. He walks back out to the kitchen where the two women have their heads together over the notebook on the table.

“Hey Rafa, we were thinking,” Olivia looks up at him, “what if we had a small ceremony in the courtroom?”

Rafael can’t help but smile at this, it’s perfect. Where it all began, where he met his soulmate, the love of his life. “I love it. I love you.” He rushes over to kiss his fiancée.

“And obviously there will be a big party afterward to celebrate!” Lucia adds to the conversation, “You two just need to figure out where exactly that will be. I will take care of the rest, don’t worry. But I may need help with final decisions on the choices.” The couple groans at the thought of having to keep planning things even though they are both looking forward to it. “Do we know when this is happening?” Lucia asks to break the silence.

“June,” the two say in unison. That was the only thing they had officially decided on up to this point. It was the perfect time, the weather wasn’t too unbearably hot and muggy, but not too cold. And Noah would be done with school by then, so the couple wouldn’t be worried about the trip they'd be taking as a family for their honeymoon.

“Oh, nena?” Rafael addresses the thought that just popped into his head.

“Yeah, babe?” Olivia turns her head to lock eyes with her fiancé.

“Noh’s my Best Man, I already got dibs on him. You can ask Jake,” Rafael smiles as he says this, “he helped me figure out who it should be. Noah’s the most sensical.” He prepared that statement earlier that day. Olivia chuckles at Rafael’s vernacular and thinks to herself, _You can take the man out of the courtroom, but you can’t take the courtroom out of the man._ He’s never fully let go of that side of him.

“I think he’d love that,” she says in approval. She stops to think about her wedding party. Who will be in it? She hadn’t given it any thought. Amanda? Absolutely, and Lucy too. She can’t forget about Melinda Warner! She settles on Amanda being her Maid of Honor, knowing she’d be up to the task. Not that it would be a difficult one. “I’ll ask Amanda to be my Maid of Honor tomorrow.” She says, her tone shifting slightly.

“Que pasa, nena?” Rafael asks as he notices the change in his fiancée’s demeanor.

“I just hope Elliot and Alex show,” Olivia says being transparent in the moment, “what if they don’t?”

“I am sure they will, mi amor,” Rafael reassures her as he rubs her back, “they really love you even though you don’t see each other as often anymore.”

At this moment, Lucia comes out from kitchen and states it is time for her to leave. She promises to text when she arrives to her home, it’s a given with a son who was an ADA and a daughter-in-law that’s the lieutenant of the Special Victims Unit. “Adiós mi amores.”

“Wedding planning is exhausting,” Rafael says slouching down into the couch taking the glass of wine from Olivia’s outstretched arm, “gracias, mi amor.” He kisses her cheek before taking a sip.

“Should we talk colors now? Your mom is adamant about getting Save-the-Dates as soon as possible,” Olivia pushes even though they don’t even have a solid date set.

“I’m okay with whatever, nena,” Rafael looks at Olivia, “except for red, orange, yellow, and green. I look awful in those colors.”

Olivia throws her head back and laughs, “Rafa, that only leaves us with three choices! Blue, purple, and pink!” She shakes her head at how bad all three of those would look together. Rafael cocks his head to the side with a pensive look on his face.

“Well, what about purple? Lavender? It should be a lighter shade due to the season,” he offers up his idea. Olivia is always impressed with how in tune he is style-wise. Rafael adds, “And gold.” _Thank god he didn’t say grey!_ She thought. She always thinks Rafael looks great, but he wears so much grey during the work week that she’d love to see a warmer color on him.

“That sounds perfect to me,” Olivia says leaning over his body to kiss him.

“Te amo, nena,” Rafael whispers against her lips.

“Te amo también,” she says back to him between kisses, “so much.”

* * *

 

A couple of weeks later, Thanksgiving has finally passed and Olivia decides it’s a good time to visit Sheila. Rafael goes with them to provide comfort to his fiancée, he knows how hard it is on her every time she sees Sheila. He grabs her hand while they drive upstate, “Nena, it’s going to be fine, I’ll be right next to you the whole time.”

Olivia keeps her eye on the road taking a quick peek at Noah in the rearview mirror, “I just hate that I can’t explain what is going on to Noah,” she says in a hushed tone so her son doesn’t hear her.

“One day, mi amor, we will sit down with him and tell him what is really happening,” Rafael squeezes her hand, “together.”

“Thank you, Rafa,” Olivia says, he always knows how to calm her down and she is thankful for that.

“Always, nena,” Rafael says intertwining their fingers, “always.”

They arrive upstate at the group home Sheila is staying in as a part of her plea deal. Rafael tenses up as they ring the doorbell. A bubbly woman answers the door, “Hi Olivia and Noah! And you are?”

“Rafael Barba,” Rafael extends his hand to shake hers, “I’m Liv’s fiancé.”

“Kara Nixon,” the woman shakes his hand, “I’m the resident psychologist at the home.” She calls out to Sheila that her guests have arrived. Sheila appears from around the corner, her skin is warmer than it was the last time Olivia saw her. She notices her eyes seem happy finally, too. Olivia can’t help but be relieved to see the improvement in her son’s grandmother.

“Hi Sheila,” she says in a quiet voice, “it’s nice to see you.”

Noah runs up to the woman and hugs her legs, “Hi gramma! How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing well, Noah, thank you!” Sheila hugs him and moves to hug Olivia. She stops short when she notices Rafael behind them. “Hello, Mr. Barba.” Her tone is stiff.

“Rafael, please,” he says moving forward to give her a loose handshake. He is cautious around her, still skeptical about her wellbeing and the safety of his family. She put them through Hell and he was not going to let that go easily. He keeps a safe distance throughout the visit.

As the family sits at the kitchen table discussing news since the last visit, Sheila shrieks with excitement as she is told about the engagement. “I’m so happy for you two!” Her hands are under her chin and her smile covers her whole face. “When’s the wedding?”

“Uh, June,” Rafael says wary about the intent of the question.

“Oh, the perfect time!” She states in a bubbly tone. She quickly changes the subject back to something that happened in the home a couple of weeks ago. As the conversation wraps up, Olivia pulls a gift bag out from under her chair.

“Here, we got this for you. Noah picked it out. Merry Christmas, Sheila,” Olivia says as enthusiastically as she can. Sheila pulls a green stuffed elephant from the bag.

“It’s just like Eddie, gramma! But a different color! See?” Noah is excited about his choice.

“Noah, it’s perfect! I shall name her Edie!” Sheila hugs the stuffed animal and then her grandson, “Thank you all!” She smiles over at Rafael and he gives her a quick smile back.

As the family walks away from the home, Olivia asks Rafael if he could drive back. She is tired from the past hour and would like to rest before they get back home and have to make dinner. As they get onto the highway to head back to the city, Olivia’s eyes fill up with tears. She starts to cry quietly and makes a quick glance at Noah in the back seat, he is already asleep.

“Mi amor, what’s wrong?” Rafael is worried as he notices her tears.

“I hate seeing her like that, I hate that Noah has to see her like that. He doesn’t deserve any of this,” she says through clenched teeth.

“Neither do you, nena,” Rafael’s voice soothes her instantly. “I am so proud of you for staying strong through all of this. She will be better one day, she looked great today.” He is cupping her face in his free hand. She nuzzles her face into his palm before she kisses it.

“Thank you,” she whispers. Rafael glances back at his son to make sure he is still asleep. He looks so adorable slumped over in his booster seat. Rafael chuckles a bit to himself.

As they get into the city, Noah jolts awake from the noise. “ What’s for dinner?” he says in a drowsy tone.

“For once in my life, hijo, I don’t feel like cooking. How does pizza sound?” Rafael says to the boy in the backseat, but he already knows the answer.

“Yeah!” Noah exclaims throwing his fists in the air. As the family gets home, Noah runs to the door at the end of the hallway waiting for his parents to catch up. He is bouncing up and down as they take their time down the hall. As Rafael opens the door, a rush of comfort washes over each family member. Noah kicks off his shoes and throws his coat onto his hook before he heads to his bedroom to play until dinner arrives. The couple makes their way to the kitchen to find the menu to their favorite place.

After dinner, Rafael makes Noah a monsterous sundae to celebrate the day. As Olivia watches her son dig into the bowl of ice cream, she thinks about everything the three of them have been through together. Rafael’s been by her side through everything since Noah came into her life. He would visit Noah every day while he was in the hospital with pneumonia. She can’t believe she never thought about how much Rafael loved Noah until five months ago. She feels guilty about it until her train of thought shifts back to something she had just realized. Five months, wow. It seems like it has been so much longer than that.

“Que pasa, nena?” Rafael is confused about the pensive look on his fiancée’s face.

“We’ve only been together for like, five months. But it feels like we’ve been together forever,” she says making eye contact with him. Noah has moved into his room to get ready for bed, allowing them some privacy before Rafael goes to read to him.

“Sí, mi amor,” Rafael says smiling and grabbing Olivia’s hand, he thinks about this all the time.

“So much has happened since the Householder trial,” she reminisces and shakes her head free of it.

“I know, Liv. It’s been wonderful, huh?” Rafael can’t stop smiling at his love, he is calm and certain.

“Yeah, it really has,” Olivia leans over to kiss him. Rafael gets called into Noah’s room to read him a bedtime story. The two of them walk back to his room and Olivia gives her son a kiss goodnight before storytime starts. Rafael is already in his spot on Noah’s bed with the book in his hand. Olivia heads back to the kitchen to clean up a bit before she can relax with her fiancé.

Rafael walks out of Noah’s room 30 minutes later. He takes off his glasses before rubbing his face, “It’s been a long day, nena,” he speaks into his hands.

“Yeah it has, here,” Olivia’s arm is extended and holding a glass of wine. Rafael grabs it from her and takes a sip.

“Gracias, Liv,” Rafael smiles as he sits down next to her. He loves this routine they’ve started together. They cuddle into each other on the couch and Olivia rests her head on Rafael’s chest when a thought pops into her head. She lifts her head back up and looks at her fiancé. This isn’t the first time the thought’s crossed her mind, but in this moment it feels right to bring it up.

“You should adopt Noah, Rafael,” she says to him. Rafael perks up and his eyes meet hers.

“Really?” He smiles at her.

“Yeah, of course. You’re his father, why not make it official on paper?” Olivia is nodding slowly when she says it.

“I mean, I’d love that so much,” he’s getting choked up now, he loves them both so much. “I’ll email a friend tomorrow to get them made up.”

“Great,” Olivia says, she settles back onto his chest and takes a sip of her wine. They settle on Chopped. She loves how much Rafael gets into it. He loves cooking and takes this show way too seriously.


	11. Ch. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Rafael decide on a wedding song.

Olivia, Rafael, and Lucia laugh at Noah as he runs around the Christmas tree with garland. When he’s reached the end of the strand, he steps back and says, “It’s done!” He throws his hands in the air to celebrate the small victory. With that news, Rafael steps back to be next to his son and examines the tree. Most of the ornaments are close to the bottom due to Noah wanting to put them on the branches he can reach. 

He decides it looks perfect and reaches into a small hat box that sits on the coffee table behind Noah. He pulls out an ornate porcelain angel in a dark red dress with large white wings. He smiles at the memory stuck inside, it used to be his abuelita’s before she passed. He stands on a chair to reach the top of the tree and places it down on the peak, letting the pine needles hold it in place. He straightens it a bit as he whispers quietly to the angel, “Feliz navidad, abuelita.” Stepping off of the chair he gathers his family in his arms, “Feliz navidad, mis amores.”

The group heads to the kitchen to have lunch before Noah and Lucia get ready for a day of adventure together. Lucia knows it has been awhile since Rafael and Olivia had some alone time, so she offers to take Noah for the day. “Adiós, loves,” Lucia tells the couple before she and her grandson head out to the park. 

“Adiós, mamí,” Rafael says calmly. As the door closes, he sinks into the couch and sighs, “We have so much free time today, nena. What will we do?” He is genuinely unsure of how to utilize his day off. Well, he has an idea of what they  _ should _ do, but it’s so overwhelming he doesn’t want to.

As if reading his mind Olivia offers up an idea, “We should probably do some wedding planning.” She sits next to him on the couch knowing she may not have the motivation to get back up. Why can’t they just sit on the couch and watch Chopped all day? That’s what she really wants to do with her fiancé. In the back of her mind, she is worried about whether there will be any interruptions from the station today. She loves her job, but it feels like she’s never gotten a real day off since she’s become lieutenant. “I know we don’t want to, but we really, really should.” 

Rafael looks at her with defeat, “Fun day off, huh?” He laughs as he stands up before he gets too comfortable, “We’ll find a way to make it fun, we always do.”

After hours of deliberation, the couple finally settles on a place to have the reception- Chelsea Piers. Since they found out they won’t have to pay to reserve a courtroom, they decided to splurge on a fancier reception venue. “It’s a good thing we could both pull some strings with Jack to find way to get the courtroom free of charge,” Olivia starts, “we’ll save so much money with that favor that we can actually afford the Piers!” Rafael smiles at this, he is happy that his friend and mentor Jack McCoy still believes in him. Especially after what he did to get them that courtroom for free. 

“It’s my wedding gift to you two!” He told Rafael over the phone, his bubbly voice is genuine, “You deserve this happiness, Rafael.” Rafael’s taken out of this trance when Olivia comments on the upcoming timeline.

“It’s already six months away, Rafa,” she states the obvious. The two chuckle and then sigh when they realize how overwhelmed they both are. Rafael has already determined what he and his groomsmen are going to wear, it was the first thing he did after they figured out a color scheme. However, Olivia still needed to find the perfect dress for the big day. She’s happy that Amanda took over the responsibility of what the bridesmaids would wear. Olivia really didn’t want to make that decision since she wouldn’t be wearing them. She felt it would be fair to let the three decide on a style together, Amanda is a lot more organized than she lets on. She’s almost as organized as Rafael is, almost. She chuckles again and shakes her head,  _ but no one is as organized as that man is.  _

Rafael stands up to make a new pot of coffee for the couple. From across the counter he speaks to Olivia as he fills the pot with water, “What about our song? Have you thought about that yet?” 

“Yeah,” Olivia sighs at the thought, “but nothing seems right, ya know?”

“Well, I think I have found the perfect one,” Rafael pushes the button on the machine before he turns around and smirks at her, “You’ll remember why when you hear it.” He walks into the living room to the stereo in the far corner. He had already put the CD in earlier that week, having listened to the song a couple times before he proposed the idea to his fiancée. He wanted to make sure it really was perfect. He presses play and [Groovy Kind of Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddcIunulJi4)  by the Mindbenders starts to play, Olivia laughs a bit. Rafael extends his arm to invite her to dance with him, “Come here, mi amor, dance with me.” She walks over to him and they start to sway with the music as she rests her head against his. He starts to sing the first lines to her, “When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you. Then I’m not so blue.” His voice is the most soothing thing Olivia has ever heard, she loves when he sings to her. 

The song ends they part from each other and lock eyes. “It’s perfect,” Olivia whispers with tears in her eyes. Rafael leans in and kisses her gently.

“I know,” he replies, resting his forehead against hers, “I’m glad you think so too.” He kisses her again and moves her over to the couch, being careful not to bump her into the coffee table. He bites down on her lip teasing her, causing her to moan into his lips.

* * *

 

Lucia and Noah walk through the door around 7pm right as Rafael is pulling dinner out of the oven. “Hola!” He shouts from the kitchen already steadying his stance in preparation for the hug he was about to receive from his son. Noah runs up to him and with one quick swoop, Rafael is holding him in his arms, embracing him in a warm hug. “How was your day with abuelita, hijo?” Noah gives him a recap of everything they did today. They started at the park where Noah played with his friend Ben. From there, they got some hot dogs from a vendor and made their way to the Museum of Natural History. Afterward, they decided to catch a movie before heading home. While Noah tells him about the movie, Rafael smiles and nods to say thank you to his mother. 

“It was my pleasure, hijo,” Lucia responds, “I love spending time with my nieto. We had a blast.” Rafael smiles when she calls Noah her grandson. When Noah finishes telling Rafael all about his day he notices his mother has walked in, he wiggles free from his dad’s arms to hug his mom and tell her the story again. Once he’s finished his second retelling of today’s events, the family sits down at the table to eat dinner together. They start to discuss the wedding planning the couple accomplished today.

“Chelsea Piers is probably the best spot for a reception!” Lucia says relieved this was out of the way, “It’s great that you two finally have a date and a location!” All three adults let out a sigh of relief at this realization. 

“Yeah, but June 6th is going to arrive a lot quicker than we expect,” Rafael is the voice of reason, he has a cautious tone as he speaks, “I just want it to be perfect. Oh, speaking of perfect, we picked out a song, mamí.” 

“Oh?” Lucia perks up at the good news, “Do tell.”

“ _ Groovy Kind of Love _ ,” he smiles as he tells her this, knowing she will love the choice. It was one of her favorites, a reason he loved it so much but that isn’t even why he chose it.

“Why’s that, hijo?” Lucia is wondering if that is the actual reason.

“It was playing in Rafa’s office when were talking one night after the Lewis trial,” Olivia adds to the conversation, “I know, I know, it sounds really weird, but it always makes me think of Rafa.” 

“And it always makes me think of Liv,” he says smiling to his fiancée and mother.”

“I love it,” Lucia says smiling even wider than the couple in front of her. 


	12. Ch. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family celebrates their first Christmas together.

Rafael and Olivia are woken up on Christmas morning to Noah excitedly jumping on their bed. “Hijo,” Rafael says half asleep while gesturing at the boy to lay down, “Come here, come snuggle.” He tries to coax the boy into the space between him and Olivia to no avail. He and Olivia didn’t get much sleep last night, they were too excited about their first Christmas together as a family. 

“I can’t papa! It’s Christmas!” His voice squeaks as he continues to jump, “Get up! Get up!” His voice is playful but still a little demanding. The couple gets out of bed slowly and goes to brush their teeth. On his way to the bathroom, Rafael scratches his chest and yawns.

“Be patient, hijo. We still need to make coffee before we open presents, too,” he says seriously. The small boy groans at his dad and trudges out to the living room where he starts to sing Christmas carols until his parents arrive. The two sit down on the couch with coffee mugs in their hands. Noah is already pulling presents out from under the tree and organizing them. First, he goes to separate them by name until he realizes all of them are for him. He then moves on to size. Starting with the smaller ones, Noah opens the gifts with no mercy for the wrapping paper. He gets a new Tonka truck, three new puzzles, and many other toys he’s been wanting. He also got some new clothes and school supplies. His parents laugh at the fact that the school supplies got a more excited reaction than the toys did. He is definitely their son. 

Once he is finished, he checks under the tree one more time and pulls out two small presents. He cocks his head to the side as he reads the labels on them, “These are for you.” He states matter-of-factly walking them over to his parents. The couple decides to open them together, not realizing they had each snuck a gift under the tree for each other. They had agreed to not get each other any presents, but always knew they would anyway. 

“Oh my god,” Olivia says as she opens the velvet box that was under the red wrapping paper, “Rafa, this is beautiful.” She is looking at a necklace with a delicate gold chain. In the middle, there is a minimal gold bar with three small hearts engraved on it. She flips it over and reads the three sets of initials on the back, “OB,” “NB,” and “RB.” She starts to cry as she takes it out of the box, “Thank you so much.” 

Rafael smiles and helps her put it on before he opens his own small black velvet box. He is speechless as he sees the silver band resting on the small pillow. It has three lines engraved on the outside. As he pulls it out of the box, he notices the inscription on the inside, “We love you, Rafa.” Now he is crying and smiling at his two loves, “Thank you, my loves. Thank you, nena,” he says quietly.

Olivia slides the ring onto his left hand ceremoniously, “We figured you should have one, too.”

Before Noah gets a chance to start playing with his new toys, Rafael pulls and envelope from the table behind the couch, “One more gift, hijo!” Olivia smiles, knowing what was inside the large envelope. “From us,” Rafael adds gesturing toward Olivia, “be gentle opening it.” He hands the envelope over to the boy.

Noah seems a little confused as he carefully pries the envelope open. He pulls the crisp piece of paper out of its sleeve and pauses for a moment, reading. “What does,” Noah pauses making sure he pronounces the word correctly, “adoption mean?” 

“Well, sweet boy, it’s what made me your mama, legally,” Olivia started to explain, choosing her words wisely. She’s leaning closer to him rest her elbows on her knees, “and now, it’s what will make Rafa your papa, legally.” 

Noah is beaming up at his parents from the other side of the coffee table, “Really?!” He is excited but careful not to move too much, ensuring he wouldn’t crinkle the paper in his small hands. 

“Yes, hijo,” Rafael smiling through his tears, “I am officially your papa.”

* * *

 

After they clean up the mess of wrapping paper and eat breakfast, the three of them head over to Lucia’s home to celebrate with her. “Feliz Navidad!” She shouts as she opens the door, she is so excited for her first Christmas with the family she loves so much. They all hug in the doorway before fully entering the home. The three of them perk up when they realize how amazing it smells. “I have a ham in the oven, tamales staying warm, rice pudding, and Dulce de Leche pudding.” She continues to list all of the food she’s prepared. Rafael laughs, his mother always cooked for at least 10 people, she couldn’t help it. “Rafi, Liv, invite some friends over for dinner we will have so much food.” Rafael pulls out his phone and texts two of his friends. 

They open up presents as they wait for their friends to arrive and eat a small lunch to hold them over until dinner. Lucia gets Noah a watch with his favorite TV characters on it. “Thank you, abuelita! Now I will be just like papa!” He says pointing to his father’s watch. Rafael smiles as he twists the watch he always wears on his left wrist, it belonged to his father before he passed. His heart wrenches as he thinks about it for a moment. He always had a hard time around the holidays, even though they didn’t have a good relationship. He still missed him. Olivia places her hand on his knee and squeezes it gently, showing him support as she notices his mood shift. 

Around 5pm, there is a knock on the door. Olivia opens it to see Amanda, Jesse, and Carisi in the cold winter air. “Hey guys! Come on in,” she moves out of their way so they can escape the cold. 

“My goodness, it smells good in here,” Carisi says embraced by the aroma floating from the kitchen. He removes his coat before helping Amanda with hers. Once she’s free, she bends down to take Jesse’s off and hangs it up. The little girl runs off to play with her older cousin. 

Olivia raises an eyebrow and nods slightly in Carisi’s direction as he heads to the kitchen to greet Rafael. “What?” Amanda says, her southern accent coming out as she defends herself. 

“You and Carisi are just spending Christmas together?” Olivia pries for some details from the detective.

“Well, his family is in Florida for the holiday, my mom’s down south still. We figured we’d spend it together to keep each other company. Then we both got Raf’s texts,” she explains away the situation, trying to downplay it. Olivia laughs and puts her arm on Amanda’s bicep.

“You sound like I did when people asked me about Rafa after the Householder trial,” she’s smiling as she says it, making fun of herself. She walks away to give Jesse a hug. Amanda can’t help but address the butterflies in her stomach. She looks over at Carisi who had his head thrown back in laughter, his hand rests on his chest. She loves hearing his laugh, it always made her smile. She shook her head to rid herself of that thought.  _ I can’t do that, he is my partner!  _ She scolds herself.  _ That would just ruin everything at work. It happened with Amaro, it’ll happen again.  _ Amanda scoffs at herself and goes to help Lucia with the table.

The group sits down to enjoy their Christmas dinner together. They all say something they are happy for today and share a toast before digging into their food. When they are finished eating, they all pitch in to clean up to make the process go by quicker. They turn on some Christmas music and work away.

The time has come for Noah and Jesse to open gifts that the adults had gotten for them. Jesse opens hers to find a new doll, “Tell aunt Liv and uncle Raf thank you, Jesse,” Amanda prompts her toddler. 

“Thank you,” Jesse says quietly to her doll.

Noah rips open his gift from Amanda and Carisi, it’s a new card game called Set. “We play this in school all the time! Thank you auntie Amanda and uncle Sonny!” He jumps up to wrap the pair in a hug. Amanda and Carisi make eye contact around the boy’s curls and smile. Rafael looks over at Olivia and sees her smiling at them, knowing exactly what she is thinking. He places his hand on the small of her back and pulls her closer. They all say goodbye and head back to their homes. Lucia stays in the doorway and waves until each family is at the ends of the block. 


	13. Ch. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia dive into the trial they're working on together. The case makes Rafael realize he misses the courtroom.

With the holidays finally over, Olivia and Rafael begin to dig back into the Hudson case. Olivia and Rafael are meeting with Trish Pirozzi and her parents at the station. “Okay, Trish,” Rafael starts, turning toward the victim, “we just need to go over your statement again before the trial to prepare a bit more, okay?” Trish nods as she looks at the table. Rafael starts to ask her what happened and she gives him the statement again. Peter Stone stands on the other side of the glass window in Olivia’s office. He knocks on it once to signal Olivia to step out. She enters through the door separating the rooms.

“What’s up?” She asks Stone as he continues to watch what was happening in the other room.

“He’s good,” Stone admits to her as they continue to listen in, Olivia smiles at this, “I need him at my table tomorrow.”

“So ask him,” Olivia responds quickly, “I’m sure he would love to.”

“I- I don’t know,” Stone turns away from the glass, letting his guard down a bit, “I prosecuted his trial, I was awful to him.” He rubs the back of his head as he paces the room. 

“You did what you had to do, he knows that,” Olivia encourages the ADA, “he’s had to do that plenty of times. Just ask him.” At that moment, Rafael’s head was poking through the opening in the door.

“Ask me what?” He’s curious to know what they’ve been talking about. 

“I need you as my co-counsel,” Stone rips the bandaid off, “You know more about this case than any of us. You know minor details we don’t even think to ask for. You’ve been with the family since the beginning.” Stone is basically begging at this point, Rafael gives him a smug smile.

“It would be my pleasure, Mr. Stone,” he replies sharply.

* * *

 

The trial starts the next day. The couple wakes up early to make sure they are ready in time to get to the courtroom. Lucy shows up to take Noah to school so the pair can focus as much of their attention on the trial as possible. They enter the building and meet up with ADA Stone and the Pirozzi family. Olivia puts her hand on Trish’s back to reassure her before the walk into the courtroom. When opening statements come about, Stone decides to use the one Rafael has prepared for him instead of his own, only adding a few extra details. 

Halfway through the day, there is a recess for lunch. “I gotta say, Liv,” Rafael starts to unwrap his sandwich, “it feels really good being in a courtroom again.” Olivia smiles, she knew he would feel that way. “I guess I never realized how much I missed it. It feels good.”

“You two make a good team,” Olivia adds to the reasons he is enjoying it. Rafael bumps her shoulder with his, not willing to admit he and Stone make a good pair. They share a brief fit of laughter. 

The two of them meet up with ADA Stone and the family. They check on Trish to make sure she is doing okay before they all head back into the courtroom. Olivia can tell that Trish is worried about being called on the stand next. “You’re going to be great,” she says to the young girl, “you’re in really good hands.” She smiles over at the two men standing at the table. 

“Rafael, I need you to question Trish. I already cleared it with the judge,” Stone pleads, “you know her story better than me.” Rafael is startled by the news. He hasn’t prepared anything for this. 

“But I-” he gets cut off.

“You’ve been working with her for awhile,” Stone starts his list of reasons why Rafael is better for this, “she’s comfortable with you.” Rafael sighs and nods to signal his acceptance of the situation. 

“Let’s do this,” he says confidently.

The first day of the trial is over and Olivia is hopeful. Rafael is shaking his head as they walk out into the fresh air. “What’s wrong, Rafa?” Olivia stops and turns to him. 

“I feel like I didn’t do enough in there,” Rafael is always hard on himself during trials, Olivia almost forgot about that, “I feel like I didn’t really help Stone out that much.”

“Rafa, you did an amazing job!” Olivia swats his shoulder a bit, “don’t say that. He used your opening statement  _ and _ had you question Trish because you know her better.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Rafael shrugs as he tries to brush off the negative thoughts he’s still having about it. He never got his hopes up when it came to the justice system anymore. He had seen so much corruption over the years that he had become a bit jaded, “I did really love it, though.”

* * *

 

After a week, Trish’s attackers are convicted but their sentencing is lighter than they’d hoped for. She states that she is just grateful she got justice, it was empowering. Her parents take the three of them out for dinner to celebrate the victory. After dinner, the couple walked with Stone to a bar down the street from the station. The squad frequented it during trials. They meet up with Amanda, Fin, and Carisi. “To Justice,” Carisi states holding his glass up. 

“To Justice,” the group says in unison, clinking their glasses and taking a drink. 

“You were great today, Raf,” Amanda compliments her friend.

“Yeah, you were,” Stone says laughing a bit. He never thought he’d be out drinking with Rafael Barba, “seriously. You probably won that conviction for us.” 

Rafael shrugs with a grin on his face, “What can I say? I love a solid testimony.” He nods to Stone to thank him for his kind words.

“We should do this more often,” Stone adds tipping his glass in Rafael’s direction. Rafael smiles at him and then turns to Olivia. She grabs his hand and smiles back.

_ Maybe, _ Rafael thinks,  _ I hope so. _


	14. Ch. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Amanda go dress shopping. The couple spends what they thought was their first Valentine's Day together.

Olivia walks out of the station with Amanda and heads for lunch, she sends a text to Rafael confirming plans to meet at their home before they head out for dinner. It’s Valentine’s Day and they are both happy that Lucia has offered to take Noah for the night. The two women head over to the café to grab some food before they start their errands. Work has been rather slow at their precinct lately and they are taking advantage of it by using half of their work day to run some wedding related errands. 

After they eat, the two step into a small dress shop a couple blocks away. “What about this one?” Amanda holds up a white lace dress covered in beading.

“Way too extravagant,” Olivia says overwhelmed by all the embellishments on it, “you know I don’t want anything too wild, or expensive.” Amanda chuckles and continues looking. Olivia pauses at a dress hidden at the end of the rack against the wall. It is a floor length silk gown, the design is tasteful and minimal, just like Olivia likes. She pulls it out of its hiding place and sneaks off to the dressing room without alerting Amanda. A few moments later she emerges from behind a curtain, “What do you think?” She asks her friend with a sigh.

“Oh my god,” Amanda is speechless from how beautiful her friend looks. The dress fits Olivia perfectly. The  sleeves end at her elbows and it has a tasteful V neckline. The silk overlaps as if it were wrapped around olivia’s torso and there is a gorgeous silk rose on top of her left hip. “It’s perfect.” 

Olivia finally steps up to the mirror to decide for herself. Her eyes well up as she thinks about what this dress means. She is about to marry the love of her life, her moon. With tissues at the ready, Amanda hugs her friend carefully as to not harm the dress between them. Olivia stands still for the seamstress as she pins down minor alterations and then pays before making her way out of the store with Amanda by her side. Olivia is relieved that this task is over and heads for the next shop.

They step into the small florists shop on the corner of the street and are greeted warmly by an older man, “Liv! Welcome, welcome,” he says hugging her, “how are ya?”

“Hi Marty,” Olivia hugs him back and tells him they are doing well. Marty heads to the backroom and brings back a tray with three different bouquets on it. 

“Okay, so I made you three samples to choose from,” he starts to explain each one, “The first has white peonies, baby’s breath, and lavender. This one right here in the middle is a wonderful ensemble of lavender, daisies, and an assortment of smaller white flowers.” He shifts his hand to the last option, the most extravagant, “And  _ this _ one is my personal favorite. Purple calla lilies, white roses, and lavender. All of ‘em are wrapped up tight with a beautiful gold ribbon.”

“This is an impossible decision,” Olivia says overwhelmed by their beauty, “they’re all so gorgeous.” After about a half an hour of deciding and consulting with Amanda, Olivia settles on the second option as the bridal party’s bouquets and the third to be the centerpieces. After this decision she discusses corsages and boutonnières with Marty. She pays for everything in advance and the pair leave the store and head back into the cold. Olivia really appreciates Amanda tagging along with her to make these decisions. She hates doing it without Rafael, but he has been a lot busier with work than usual. They are focusing on writing grants for more funding to make a bigger impact.

She knows she can trust Amanda to be as honest as possible in regards to everything. She is always blunt and Olivia loves her for it. After Amanda showed her the bridesmaid dresses she’d found, Olivia had no doubts in her ability to help plan this wedding. The dresses have a knee length chiffon skirt that is lavender with a high waist where the lavender chiffon is met by a light gold bodice made of lace on top of nude polyester. Each bridesmaid has the option of what straps they would like to have. Amanda goes for one strap over her right shoulder while Warner opted for a halter and Lucy decided to just go strapless. Olivia imagines them next to the suits Rafael had chosen for his wedding party. As they make their way to the next shop, Amanda scrolls through photos on her phone to show Olivia shoe options. 

“What about this one?” Amanda is zooming slightly in on a pair of nude flats covered in gold rhinestones, “They’ll be comfy.” Olivia nods in approval watching Amanda’s phone as she accidentally swipes over one too many times and a photo of her and Carisi is now showing on the screen. 

“Oh!” Olivia gasps and turns to Amanda, “You have to tell me what is going on, like seriously, I am your boss!” Amanda explains that they’re just great friends, there is nothing to worry about. Olivia doesn’t fully believe it but lets go of the subject. They arrive at Lucia’s home for their next task, meet the caterer and test the food. The two walk in without knocking. 

“Lucia, these are incredible,” Olivia exclaims with her mouth full. She is pleased at the choices Lucia has made about the two entrées.

“Don’t tell me, hija,” Lucia says pointing at the chef next to her, “tell him!” Olivia nods and thanks him. After they’ve devoured two full meals each, the two set off to get back to the station before calling it a day. 

Rafael and Olivia get back to their home within minutes of each other. Olivia is getting changed in the bedroom as she hears Rafael beckon to her from the front door. She pulls on her shirt and goes out to greet him. As Rafael changes into an equally fancy outfit as he had worn to work, the couple embarks on their journey to the restaurant to celebrate the holiday. Their first Valentine’s Day together. 

They discuss the errands Olivia ran with Amanda and the decisions about the bouquets. Rafael eagerly awaits any mention of a dress, he knows Olivia’s been stressing about that. “Oh, found the perfect dress, too,” she says holding her wine glass up. 

“Good,” Rafael says with ease in his voice. 

They head back home after dinner, arm-in-arm talking about what they were each doing last Valentine’s Day. “Wait, didn’t we spend it together?” Rafael asks figuring out the timeline in his head. It was just after a big case they had won, “I’m pretty sure you and I had some drinks in my office and talked about the trial.”

“Oh yeah, and then we went to dinner!” Olivia remembered, “We were so confused why it was so busy for a Tuesday. We didn’t even know it was Valentine’s Day!” They both laugh uncontrollably as they round the corner to walk into their building. The get in the elevator and head up to their floor. 

As Rafael opens the door, Olivia gives him a nudge to hurry up and go in. As soon as the door is closed, the two are ripping their coats off as they kick their shoes to the side. Rafael grabs her hand and pulls her to their bedroom. When they get there, he stops and pulls her into his body, kissing her passionately before moving to the bed. 


	15. Ch. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple goes over the finishing touches on their wedding before the big day. During the wedding, one guest has an unwelcome outburst while Amanda and Carisi have a moment of their own.

Olivia walks into the living room briskly before stopping in her tracks as she notices Noah standing on the coffee table in his suit. Lucy is tying the knot on the hem she had just finished. Olivia realizes in this moment that there were only two more days until she was getting married. She takes a deep breath in through her nose and is at ease thinking about her future with Rafael. Just as she finishes the thought, Rafael walks down the hallway to face the day of wedding prep ahead of them. 

“Morning hijo! You look very handsome!” He kisses the boy on the head before he heads over to his fiancée, “You ready nena?” Olivia nods at him and they head out for the day, saying goodbye to Lucy and their son before closing the door behind them. 

The first stop is the Supreme Court Building to meet with Jack McCoy and discuss the plan for the rehearsal they were having the next day. “Everything should be in order,” Jack says as he ushers the couple down the aisle in the middle of the room. The couple sighs as they think about their past memories and history in this courtroom. They both turn their heads and smile at each other, sure of their future together. 

At the end of the walkthrough, Jack offers to buy the happy couple lunch. They go to Jack’s favorite deli and he tells them just how excited the entire DA’s Office is about the wedding. “Really? That surprises me,” Rafael states as he swallows his food, “I thought they’d all hate me.” 

“Absolutely not!” Jack is flabbergasted as he leans back in his chair, “Why would you think that?” Rafael simply looks over his glasses at his friend and raises an eyebrow. “Oh, that’s ancient history, Rafael,” Jack responds matter-of-factly, his tone is much more serious now, “no one holds that against you. The Householders wanted to do that, you just helped them cope with it.” He waves his hand side-to-side as if to brush away the idea of it all. Rafael lets out a sigh and shrugs lightly. 

When lunch is over, the pair heads to Chelsea Piers to meet with the events coordinator and double check on everything that’s planned for the night of the wedding. “So, you’ll sit over here,” the coordinator, Maxine, waves over to the side of the space that is against the wall, “perfect lighting over there, trust me.” She drones on for a bit about the layout of the venue, the dance floor, the bar, all of the tables and chairs, all of it. “Now, here is the schedule I’ve prepared for the big night,” she whips out a piece of cardstock and hands it to the couple. BARBA / BENSON WEDDING reads at the top in big, bold letters which makes Olivia’s heart skip a beat.

“It looks great,” Rafael confirms as he hands the itinerary back to her, “thank you.”

The couple finishes everything on their to-do list and arrive back home around 4:30pm. Noah runs to hug them as Lucy stands up from the coffee table, “Hey you two, did you get everything done?”

“We sure did,” Olivia says yawning.

“Wedding’s are tedious!” Rafael adds in, “Who knew?” He bends down to pick up Noah, “What’s for dinner, hijo?” Noah shrugs and suggests his favorite, pizza. “We had pizza two days ago!” Rafael rebutts, “But, I guess that was a very long two days ago, yeah?” Noah giggles and nods his head as his father puts him down in the living room. “I’ll go place the order.”

“Lucy, would you like to stay for dinner?” Olivia offers.

“Oh, thank you so much! I wish I could, but Amanda and I are meeting up to go over last minute things before tomorrow,” Lucy replies. She says goodbye and the family goes to watch TV before the arrival of their dinner.

* * *

 

The rehearsal dinner goes as smoothly as possible. Olivia can’t help checking her phone every half hour. She is anxious about being away from the precinct and hopes there isn’t an emergency the people standing in can’t handle. Rafael reassures her that everything will be okay and that there is a solid team taking of care of things while she’s away. She tries to shake the tension from her shoulders as she lays down next to him, “You know it’s bad luck to sleep together before the wedding.” Rafael chuckles and rolls over to face her.

“I’m not scared nena, I know you’re my future,” he says sure of his words. He leans over to kiss her, “Goodnight, nena.”

“Goodnight, Rafa,” Olivia whispers, “I love you.”

* * *

 

Olivia and her bridesmaids have taken over an empty conference room across the hall from the courtroom. Amanda and Lucy are pinning back the finally two parts of Olivia’s hair as Warner puts the final touches on her makeup. The three step back and Warner states proudly, “Alright, we’re ready.” She smiles at Olivia and her eyes start to tear up, “You look beautiful, Liv.” 

Olivia tries her best not to cry before the wedding has even started and hugs her oldest friend, “I’m so happy you’re here Melinda.” The four of them look in the mirror and Amanda smiles.

“Damn, we look good,” her southern accent is thicker than normal as she makes the compliment. Right as she says this, Fin pokes his head through the door. 

“My girls ready?” Fin smiles at the group. Olivia looks at him and nods.

“Absolutely,” she is whispering and holding back tears. The three bridesmaids file out of the room to find their corresponding groomsmen. Amanda finds Noah and directs him to the back of the line. As Maid of Honor and Best Man, they will be walking together. While Warner finds Carisi and steps in front of Amanda, Lucy gets Jake to the front of the line. Amanda peaks through the four bodies in front of her to find her daughter Jesse taking the lead as flower girl. She is in a puffy white dress with lavender rose petals sewn to the skirt. Jesse waves shyly at her mother and Amanda gives her a nod and a smile. 

There is a slight shushing in the hallway and Rafael appears from a room with Lucia by his side. His suit varies from his groomsmen’s slightly. He has on a champagne colored suit and pants, with a matching bowtie. His shirt is lavender with a white collar and cuffs. The cufflinks on his sleeves are gold, one with an “O” and one with an “N” engraved on them. Under his jacket, he is wearing tan suspenders with dark leather fasteners to match his shoes. His hair, now peppered with grey, is slicked back neatly and his beard follows suit. He adjusts his glasses before he nods at the line of people to the side of the doorway before he makes his entrance into the courtroom. 

As the doors open in front of him, Rafael begins to make his down the aisle to where John Munch stands in front of the Judge’s bench. Rafael smiles to himself and thinks,  _ I can’t believe John Much, World’s Biggest Atheist, is officiating my wedding. _ He knows he wouldn’t have it any other way. Once he and Lucia get to Munch, Lucia kisses her son on the cheek before sitting down on the bench to the side. 

The music begins to play and Jesse makes her way down the aisle as she scatters petals onto the floor. Lucy and Jake step into the room once Jesse is about halfway to Rafael, followed by Warner and Carisi. As Amanda and Noah make their entrance, Rafael’s eyes are glued onto his son. The boy is smiling a toothy smile at his father and Amanda has to work hard to keep him at a slow enough pace. Olivia steps up to the closed doors and waits for her cue.

Rafael inhales in deeply through his nose and holds his breath. Finally, the doors open to reveal Olivia standing arm-in-arm with Fin. Rafael exhales quickly and begins to cry as the love of his life begins to walk down the aisle toward him. When Olivia arrives across from Rafael he can’t help but compliment his soon-to-be-wife, “You look perfect, nena.”

Munch performs the ceremony and Noah gets the rings out of his jacket pocket. The couple decided to use their engagement rings as their wedding bands, they couldn’t imagine wearing different rings. The slide the rings onto each other’s fingers as Munch declares, “You may now kiss the bride.” 

As the two part, Olivia looks out at the crowd of people in the courtroom. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the third row of people on her side of the room and she smiles with tears in her eyes. Elliot Stabler sits in between Don Cragen and Alex Cabot. Her eyes immediately lock onto Elliots and he smiles at her. She then notices two other guests at the other end of the same row, Brian Cassidy and Ed Tucker. She chuckles, not surprised that the two sat together. As she turns back to face her husband, he grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze. They turn to face the crowd and smile before they walk out of the room, wedding party in tow.

* * *

 

As the couple walks into the reception, the large group of friends waiting for them clap. They both smile wide in awe of how many people came out to support and celebrate their love. They make their way to their table where they are served dinner before the toasts begin. Amanda is the first one to go, she talks about how much she looks up to Olivia and how she always has. She goes on to talk about her first case at SVU and how Olivia showed her how the squad worked while dealing with her own personal stuff. When she brings up the case, Olivia’s eyes dart over to Elliot’s. She remembers that case, it was her last one with him. His last case before he resigned from SVU. He smiles slightly and nods, acknowledging what she’s thinking as if he could read her mind. 

When Amanda’s toast is done, Lucy and Noah stand next to each other as she holds the microphone. “Okay, we worked really hard on this speech,” she joked before holding the microphone up to Noah’s mouth with one hand and holding a piece of paper in the other. Noah clears his throat.

“My name is Noah Barba-Benson,” he states very proud to have his new last name, “Over the last…” Noah trails off trying to find his place on the paper in front of him, “Over the last eleven months, my family grew to include to more people.” Noah glances over to his abuelita before looking up at his father in front of him. “Now I can’t imagine my world without them. Papa I love you so much, thank you for loving me and my mama.” 

“Thank you, hijo,” Rafael says as tears roll down his cheeks, “te amo tanto.”

After a bit of mingling, the couple is called to the dance floor for their first dance together as a married couple.  _ Groovy Kind of Love _ plays over the speakers as the two sway in bliss, forgetting the world around them exists. The song gets to the last verse and Rafael puts his mouth up to Olivia’s ear to sing, “When I’m in your arms, nothing seems to matter. If the world would shatter, I don’t care.” The song ends and Noah runs onto the floor to his parents and hugs their legs. 

Halfway through the reception, the room goes silent as an outburst from the back erupts. Olivia and Rafael look up from the table they are talking to and see Cassidy shouting and throwing his hands in the air as Tucker tries to calm him down. Elliot rushes over to help Tucker push Cassidy into an area behind a black curtain, “Hey man, let’s not do this, why don’t we chill out okay? This is Liv’s day, this is not your day. Don’t do this to her, man.” Cassidy pulls his arms free from the two men and turns around to walk out as Rafael and Olivia push through the curtain. Cassidy is unsteady on his feet and breathing heavily while Elliot puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him from doing anything he shouldn’t. 

“What is going on in here?” Rafael’s tone is sharp and hushed, “What are you doing, Cassidy?” 

Tucker steps forward from the other two men, “Apparently,” he pauses as Amanda and Carisi show up behind the newly weds, “apparently Cassidy isn’t handling the whole Olivia marrying someone that isn’t him thing very well.” Olivia closes her eyes and sighs, she knew inviting Cassidy would be a mistake but she’d feel so bad excluding him. She just wants everyone to be happy. Rafael pulls Olivia in closer to him to comfort her.

“Get him out of here,” he instructs to the two men who already had him ready to leave. 

Before they can get him out of the door, he turned his head to face Olivia, “He’s not the one for you, Liv!  _ I’m _ the one for you, you know that!” 

Olivia looks to Rafael to apologize for what just happened but she gets cut off before she can even speak, “Nena, don’t worry. I’m okay, I promise. Our love is unbreakable, mi amor.” 

As Elliot and Tucker drag Cassidy down the hallway, Elliot sternly lectures him. “You need to let this go, Brian. We have,” he signals over to Tucker, “we had our chance, we lost it, we moved on. Let her go and let her be happy, she deserves it more than anyone I know.” Tucker looks over to Elliot, he never knew Elliot felt that way, he doubts Olivia knew. 

They both head back to the reception after getting Cassidy into an Uber to head home. Tucker breaks the silence, “You too, huh?”

“Yeah,” Elliots says through a defeated sigh, “Kath and I separate about a year after I resigned. I realized that it was never the  _ job _ the was in the way for us. It was  _ who _ was at the job. I loved her, Ed. It wasn’t fair to Kath.” Tucker nods and Elliot continues with the rest of his story, “So, I went to go talk to her and saw her and Brian outside of her building. I turned around and did my best to let her go. To be happy. When I heard she was marrying Rafael, I was a bit surprised. I didn’t know him well at the time but I still didn’t picture her with him.” 

Tucker laughs at his last statement, he thought the exact opposite. He always sensed a connection between the two, even while he and Olivia were together. “Huh,” Tucker muses as he thinks about it, “guess we really did miss our shot.” The two are hit with loud music as they walk back into the reception.

Amanda and Carisi are sitting at an empty table in a corner while Jesse is dancing with Noah on the dance floor. “Man, this is some wedding,” Carisi states as he scans the room, “huge turn out.” Amanda chuckles a bit at how amazed he seems.

“Yeah it turned out really well, I’m so happy for them,” she responds and looks over at him, his eyes are fixed on hers and he smirks at her. 

“You look amazing, by the way,” he looks away as he says it to hide his smile from her, “good job picking out the dresses.”

“Thank you, you look very handsome, as usual,” Amanda laughs as she says it. At this point in the evening, Carisi’s taken off his jacket and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. 

“Ya know, I don’t know what it is about weddings, but they just make me want to,” Amanda leans in closer to him as he speaks slowly, “dance.” He faces her and smiles before standing up to invite her to dance. “C’mon, let’s go dance with Jesse.”

Amanda gets up from her chair and Carisi puts his arm around her shoulder to guide her to the dance floor. A chill shoots up her spine when his skin makes contact with hers and goosebumps flash down her arms and back. As they get to the dance floor, Carisi picks up Jesse with one of his arms and grabs Amanda’s hand with the other. She puts her arm around the two and they sway to the music. She looks up to see Carisi smiling at her, “What?”

“Nothing, you just,” he pauses making sure he wants to say what is about to leave his mouth, “you just look so beautiful tonight.” Amanda’s heart pounds as his words process in her mind. She smiles and squeezes his hand tighter as she moves the hand she has on his back closer to his waist.

* * *

 

The family gets home from the wedding and all three of them slump onto the couch, still in their wedding attire. Rafael is the first one to push himself up from where he sat. 

“C’mon, hijo,” he held his hand out to his son, “time for bed.” The boy grabs his hand and walks down the hall toward his bedroom to change. After reading to the boy, Rafael comes out into the living room. Olivia is still sitting on the couch with tears in her eyes. Rafael sits down on the coffee table across from her, “Que pasa, nena?” He leans forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m just so happy,” Olivia starts to explain, “but I feel so bad about what Brian said to you.” 

“Nena, don’t worry about that, I promise you I am okay,” Rafael grabs her hands, “he isn’t important to us right now.” Olivia nods in agreement and he continues, “And besides, it kind of makes me feel good that he’s so jealous of us.” He shrugs and smiles which gets a laugh from Olivia. 

“We do make a pretty perfect couple, huh?” She asks as she thinks of all the ups and downs they have gone through in the past eleven months. All of the stupid squabbles they’ve had over silly things like bedtime routines, wedding stuff, you name it. They didn’t matter anymore, they never did. All that mattered now was the man sitting in front of her and their son who was sleeping peacefully in the other room. She leans up from the couch and kisses him before she stands up. 

In their bedroom, Rafael undoes the buttons of Olivia’s dress before he starts to remove the many components of his outfit. He turns around after putting on a pair of sweatpants to see Olivia standing across the room in her pajamas hanging up her wedding dress.  _ My god, she is so beautiful,  _ he smiles to himself. Her hair is still messy from dancing at the reception.

“What’re you looking at?” She asks, teasing her husband from the other side of the room.

“You nena,” he replies instantly, “you’re absolutely perfect.” She smiles and walks over to him, Rafael grabs her waist as soon as she gets close enough to him. He pulls her into his body and kisses her passionately. He moves his hands up her back until his fingers are tangled into her hair. They walk back to the bed as they kiss and Olivia lays on her back. “I love you so much, nena,” Rafael whispers into her lips.

“I love you too,” she responds as she pulls him into another kiss.


End file.
